IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

“Prevention is better than cure”. Out of country’s health budget, a proportion should be diverted from treatment to spending on health education and prevention measures. To what do you extent do you agree or disagree?

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Nowadays some
people
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 suggest that an amount of the nations health budget should be contributed more to spread
awareness
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 and for preventing solutions rather than spending enough
money
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 on cures. I vote against these notions to a large extent. My points can be seen in
further
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 paragraphs. There are several reasons for my disagreement. The
First
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 and foremost reason is that as in the past our ancestors use plant extracts and
also
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 use ayurvedic medicines to cure certain types of
disease
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.
Also
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 by doing that ,remedies some
diseases
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 are cured,
however
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, in recent times various types of
disease
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 have detrimental effects on the human body ,
for instance
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, Heart-related
disease
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, cancer, stroke these are very common nowadays. For curing of these,
diseases
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 most all hospital needs special rooms like ICU and without any machines related that it is not possible to cure any
disease
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.
As a result
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 ,that there must be requirements of enough amount of
money
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 for
such
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 types of
diseases
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. Some suggested that
money
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 should be spent more on health education and prevention measures. By spreading
awareness
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 to common
people
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 and by doing some preventive measures like doing exercises and eat healthy food is not only the options for countries overall health.
Furthermore
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, these measures are not taken by so of the
people
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 because they are very stubborn in their nature.
For example
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, the
disease
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 name covid 19 around 50,00,000 lakhs of
people
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 died in India. For treatment ,purposes it needs so many ventilators and even PPE Keat and sanitiser etc. In ,India there are not many facilities enough to control these dangerous
diseases
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. Government and even so many news channels spread
awareness
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 to the
people
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 and tell them to take precautions but because of their disgusting ,
nature
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,nature
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 most of the
people
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 have not taken any steps for them. In conclusion, I disagree with these notions because even if by spreading
awareness
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 and solutions some layman's do not follow the general guidelines so on that purpose treatment is play a crucial role so that more
money
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 should be spent on the cure.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • preventative measures
  • health education
  • chronic diseases
  • infectious disease outbreaks
  • cost-effective
  • advanced illnesses
  • healthcare facilities
  • healthcare professionals
  • allocation of resources
  • quality of life
  • healthier lifestyle choices
  • early detection
  • socioeconomic benefits
  • absenteeism
  • ethical obligation
  • public health outcomes
  • health budget
  • diverted
  • healthcare burden
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