IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people say young people should be completely free to choose their future job but others think young people must be more realistic in their choice. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

#people #future #job #choice
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is considered by some that people have the total right to decide which
job
Use synonyms
 they will complete their
life
Use synonyms
 on, while there are others who think that teenagers suppose to take what happened in
life
Use synonyms
 into consideration when they choose their
job
Use synonyms
. I take the view that everyone should have the freedom to choose their own career and people don't have to worry about
Correct your spelling
anything
show examples
any thing
Correct your spelling
anything
show examples
 while they are in the
chossing
Correct your spelling
choosing
 process . On the one hand, the decision freedom is a right for everyone especially when it comes to the future
carrer
Correct your spelling
career
carrier
. The reason behind
that is
Linking Words
 that people, probably, will spend their whole
life
Use synonyms
 at
this
Linking Words
job
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, they should be satisfied with it.
In other words
Linking Words
, when someone works in a place he didn't choose on his own, he might feel like he is out of place.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 feeling, in the long term, affect his ability to work and his personal
life
Use synonyms
 as well since that he will be sad.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, getting a
job
Use synonyms
 is not easy and taking
this
Linking Words
 thing into consideration is essential for some. To demonstrate their perspective, they think that teenagers should know that finding a place to work on the
job
Use synonyms
 that they like is not possible all the time because they believe that knowing
this
Linking Words
 thing helps in preventing any disappointment in the future. In my perspective,
Firstly
Linking Words
 I think the final decision for the future career should be the person itself despite anyone else opinion.
Secondly
Linking Words
, teenagers should believe that despite any factors that might happen, they can work on whatever they want if they try to do so,
although
Linking Words
 it might be hard, they will eventually if they keep trying. In conclusion, choosing a career is the person's responsibility and no one should take
this
Linking Words
 right from anyone else and being realistic for choosing the
job
Use synonyms
 is not necessary because humans can do anything whenever they believe in that.
Submitted by munirah1056a on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: