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Writing Samples
Band 7

People are now living much longer lives than before and many feel we should remain in the workforce for longer. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #lives #workforce
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In recent times,
people
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 are beginning to live to an older
age
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 than before and
people
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 feel they should retire at an older
age
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, too. From my point of view, I disagree with
this
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 view since
people
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 who have worked for a long
time
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 need to rest and spend more quality
time
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 with their family.
To begin
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 with, it is a common trend to start work from around the
age
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 of 16 upwards.
This
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 means that many
people
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 will remain in employment for over 40 years or 4 decades.
This
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 means that
people
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 who have worked for
such
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 a long
time
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 could be physically tired as well as mentally drained - they may need an extended rest. It is
also
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 true that working life can be limited in terms of hobbies and interests.
For example
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, when
people
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 retire they are often able to visit places around the world they have never been able to travel to before. Another reason to stop
people
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 from working well into their senior years is to allow them to spend some real quality
time
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 with their family and peers. Whilst in full-
time
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 work, many
people
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 sacrifice spending
time
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 with their family to provide money and support financially
instead
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. When
people
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 retire they should be allowed to spend a lot of
time
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 with their family, which they might not have done previously.
Furthermore
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,
people
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 who are retired can support their extended family by providing childcare for young families. There are many reasons that
people
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 may need to stay in work into their later lives than others require.
However
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, in conclusion, I believe that
people
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 should be allowed to retire at a young
age
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 to fully enjoy themselves and spend
time
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 with their families.
Submitted by 59213142 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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