Some people believe money is a less important factor than free time for quality of life. What do you think about it? What other factors are necessary to live a good quality of lifestyle?

It is widely believed by some that compared with free
time
,
money
plays a less vital role in creating a high-
quality
life
. In my opinion, both
money
and free
time
are equally important, and other factors
such
as social
relationships
and good physical
health
should be taken into consideration to help modern
people
achieve a good
quality
of
life
. I hold a firm belief that
money
and free
time
are of vital importance since these factors bring benefits in their own ways. In terms of
money
, it is undeniable that it is an indispensable thing to support
people
in their physical lives in a materialistic world these days. With a strong financial condition,
people
can live comfortably with high living standards including living in spacious and well-equipped houses, eating delicious and nutritious food or wearing luxury brand-name clothes. Without
money
,
people
often experience misery when struggling to earn a living every single day, which means they may live in worry about hunger, poverty and homelessness on a daily basis. In comparison, having free
time
to do whatever they like or enjoy their lives can contribute to raising humans’
quality
of
life
.
In other words
,
this
factor can be beneficial for
people
’s mental
health
, helping them avoid stress and depression which may be the main culprits making
people
feel upset, overwhelmed and pessimistic. For good
quality
of lifestyle, other essential factors
such
as social
relationships
and
health
serve crucial roles.
First
of all, human beings are gregarious species, meaning that forming a wide circle of
relationships
can give
people
a sense of community. In fact, a person who cannot have many friends to share daily things with or is alienated by others, often experiences negative emotions
such
as loneliness and depression, leading to a miserable and meaningless
life
.
Besides
,
people
should
also
pay attention to their physical
health
for a happy
life
. With good
health
,
people
may not only avoid suffering chronic pains caused by diseases but
also
have the energy to pursue their own dreams and ambitions.
In other words
, they can enjoy their
life
to the fullest with many opportunities to try unimaginable things in the world if they are healthy and energetic. In conclusion, due to the aforementioned reasons, I am not in favour of the view that
money
is less significant than free
time
in terms of gaining good
quality
of
life
.
Besides
, social
relationships
and physical
health
will
also
be of vital importance if
people
aim to live a happy
life
.
Submitted by tungpns1811 on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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