Your friend has just won a large amount of money in the lottery. She would like your advice as to how to spend it. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter Congratulate him/her on their win Give practical advice on how to spend the money Advise him/her on benefit/drawbacks associated with large wins

#friend #amount #money #lottery #advice #benefit

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Dear Anna,

Firstly

, I would like to congratulate you for winning 5 million U.S dollars at the “Test Your Luck.” You won’t believe but I think you have been lucky since your childhood. I really felt ‘I

Add a missing verb

was on

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

cloud nine’ after hearing

this

news. I have asked you various times to have a fixed deposit account with a bank,

Correct word choice

but I

show examples

think you still do not have that. I recommend you have a fixed

saving

Fix the agreement mistake

savings

show examples

account and get half of your money deposited in that for safety.

This

could help you to have funds for future investment. I know that you are rich now, and many people want to become your friends so, beware of

such

buddies.

However

, there might be some real friends and relatives as well who will render you some useful ideas for allocating your funds for lucrative profits, you just need to choose the right trajectory. I hope my suggestions may prove useful to you. Yours loving, Navneet Kaur.

Submitted by ss6802125 on Sat Jun 15 2024

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task achievement

Try to proofread your writing to catch minor errors or awkward phrases. For example, 'I on the cloud nine' should be 'I am on cloud nine.'

task achievement

Expand slightly on the drawbacks and benefits associated with large wins. Mention both advantages and disadvantages to give a more balanced perspective.

coherence cohesion

Each paragraph should express a single clear idea. Separate different points into individual paragraphs for improved readability.

coherence cohesion

Your letter is well-organized overall, but adding transitional phrases can improve flow between paragraphs.

greeting and closing

Strong, clear greeting and closing. This creates a personal and engaging tone.

suitable writing tone

The writing tone is very suitable for a letter to a friend, making it friendly and personal.

logical structure

Logical structure is good overall, with a clear progression of ideas.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

7 paragraphs

163 words

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