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Writing Samples
Band 7

The tables give information about the temperatures and hours of daylight in London and Sydney during the same weekend in December 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The tables give information about the temperatures and hours of daylight in London and Sydney during the same weekend in December 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The tables represent temperatures and solar
cycle
Fix the agreement mistake
cycles
show examples
 in
London
Use synonyms
 and
Sydney
Use synonyms
 between Friday to Sunday in the winter season, 2018.
Overall
Linking Words
, the UK is colder than
Sydney
Use synonyms
, Australia
while
Linking Words
Sydney
Use synonyms
 had longer sunlight. Both of the countries had a pretty steady temperature.
However
Linking Words
, in the UK, the coldness had a small fluctuation. On December 28th, they both had the coldest
day
Use synonyms
, in
London
Use synonyms
 temperature hit its minimum point at four-degree Celsius and in
Sydney
Use synonyms
 the temperature was
17-degree
Correct your spelling
17 degrees
 Celsius.
Then
Linking Words
 two countries started to get warmer on December 29th. Before the
last
Linking Words
day
Use synonyms
 of the year, in ,
Sydney
Use synonyms
 the weather peaked at 31 Celsius
while
Linking Words
London
Use synonyms
 had a slightly colder
day
Use synonyms
 at 10 degrees Celcius.
Moreover
Linking Words
, there was a huge difference in the sunrise and sunset time between the two countries. Australia had an average of 15 hours of sunlight
while
Linking Words
 the UK had only 7 hours a
day
Use synonyms
. The sunrise time for
London
Use synonyms
 and
Sydney
Use synonyms
 was eight a.m. and five a.m. respectively.
However
Linking Words
, in
London
Use synonyms
day
Use synonyms
 time would be ended five hours faster than in
Sydney
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by P. on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words london, sydney, day with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • temperatures
  • hours of daylight
  • comparison
  • London
  • Sydney
  • December 2018
  • weekend
  • information
  • data
  • summarise
  • select
  • report
  • features
  • analysis
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