IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Many museums charge for admission, while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admissions to museums outweigh the disadvantages?

#museums #charge #admission #people #admissions
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It is commonly argued that whether
museums
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 should
charge
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visitors
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 for
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admission
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an admission
the admission
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fee
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fees
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. In my opinion, free of
charge
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 to
museums
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 is an incentive to citizens.
However
Linking Words
,
basic
Correct article usage
a basic
show examples
 entry
fee
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 is the key for long-term operation.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the entry
fee
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 can be utilized for running the
museum
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/
museum
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 operation/
museum
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 maintenance. Since a lot of valuables are stored in
museums
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, a huge amount of manpower and resources are required to maintain the quality of these collections.
Also
Linking Words
, capital can be used for providing
better
Correct article usage
a better
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 visiting experience for
visitors
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.
For instance
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, organising
guided
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a guided
the guided
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tour
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tours
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 for
visitors
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 and purchasing more artwork are all possible with the source of income
Secondly
Linking Words
, charging
visitors
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basic
Correct article usage
a basic
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admission
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fee
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 can prohibit
people
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 who come to
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museum
Add an article
the museum
a museum
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 but not
intended
Wrong verb form
intend
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 to enjoy the exhibitions. the presence of
air-conditioner
Correct article usage
an air-conditioner
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 and good environment is the reason
whysome
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why some
people
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 go to
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Add an article
the museum
a museum
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museum
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museums
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. They sleep on
sofa
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a sofa
the sofa
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 or lay
on
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in
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 different exhibition halls.
Subsequently
Linking Words
, their behaviours affect others who paid to watch
art works
Correct your spelling
artworks
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.
Therefore
Linking Words
, charging a basic
fee
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 can reduce the mentioned scenario
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are some drawbacks
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
charing
Correct your spelling
charging
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 an
admission
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fee
Use synonyms
. Reducing the incentive for citizens to visit
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museum
Add an article
the museum
a museum
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 is one of the drawbacks. Most of the
citizen
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citizens
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 do not have
sense
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a sense
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 of enjoyment by watching visual arts More
visitors
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 will be attracted by free visits since they Are not required to pay
cost
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the cost
a cost
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 for visiting.
For example
Linking Words
,
free
Correct article usage
a free
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admission
Use synonyms
fee
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 for citizens is announced in the latest
museum
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 M+ in Hong Kong.
Besides
Linking Words
, poor
people
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 can enjoy public facilities without
Use synonyms
admission
Correct article usage
an admission
show examples
Use synonyms
fee
Fix the agreement mistake
fees
show examples
. It is because some
people
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 may suffer from poverty and do not have spare money for visiting
Use synonyms
Add an article
the museum
a museum
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museum
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museums
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. By purposing free
of
Change preposition
apply
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charge
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
museum
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museums
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, those
people
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 can enjoy different
museums
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 without increasing their living
cost
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costs
show examples
. To conclude, free of
charge
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Use synonyms
museum
Fix the agreement mistake
museums
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 can provide more
incentive
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incentives
show examples
 for
citizen
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citizens
show examples
 and provide
Add an article
an opportunity
the opportunity
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opportunity
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opportunities
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 for poor
people
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,
however
Linking Words
,
charing
Correct your spelling
charging
show examples
admission
Use synonyms
 free can increase the quality and quantity of
Use synonyms
museum
Fix the agreement mistake
museums
show examples
. With the
admission
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fee
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, a sustainable
museum
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 can be achieved.
Submitted by aaron on

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural heritage
  • Preservation
  • Exclusionary
  • Revenue
  • Artifact
  • Maintenance
  • Engagement
  • Admission fee
  • Cultural enrichment
  • Sustainable funding
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