IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people argued that young generations in some customs were taught to try hard on their goals in order to achieve them. I strongly believe that there are more advantages than disadvantages from this opinion.

#people #generations #customs #goals
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some people argued that young generations in some customs were taught to try hard on their goals in order to achieve them. I strongly believe that there are more advantages than disadvantages from
this
Linking Words
 opinion. As far as advantages are concerned,
this
Linking Words
 action will encourage children to achieve their aims and not stop in the middle of their ways. From my own experience, when I was doing my graphic artwork for a school project at that
time
Use synonyms
 I ran out of ideas and almost gave up. Afterwards, I asked my parents for advice and they told me that the
first
Linking Words
 step to
be
Wrong verb form
being
show examples
 a successful person is to complete your aim. Later, I was encouraged by
this
Linking Words
 phrase and was able to finish my work on
time
Use synonyms
. Another advantage is that people at young ages will gain more responsibility and
time
Use synonyms
 management skills after learning how to finish their goals. In fact, it is because individuals will focus on their important tasks
first
Linking Words
.
Besides
Linking Words
, during the Corona situation schools have switched to online study and many students could not manage their
time
Use synonyms
 well for the given assignments.
Moreover
Linking Words
, some of them could not finish their work on
time
Use synonyms
 and some might think that it is fine to not turn in the work.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, if individuals are not able to do something in the right ways,
this
Linking Words
 might waste their
time
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, when someone spends too much
time
Use synonyms
 on something and still does not achieve their goal. The reason probably is that they do not know exactly how to complete the task. In conclusion, there are more positive impacts than negative effects in my opinion.
This
Linking Words
 action helps people to improve their
personality
Fix the agreement mistake
personalities
show examples
 and skills.
Submitted by v.chemnasiri on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: