Television dominates the free-time of too many people. It can make people lazy and prevent them from socialising with others. Do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays, the influence of Television takes the hobby out of individuals,
as well as
keeps them away from interaction with others. I fully agree with Linking Words
this
statement, and I will explain my reasons in the following paragraphs.
Linking Words
Firstly
, the advancement of technology has provided a way of life for people more conveniently and comfortably. A multitude of Linking Words
TV
industries has been constantly growing for many years. People spend a huge of Use synonyms
time
watching and following Use synonyms
TV
programs. Use synonyms
As a result
, they have lost the opportunity to do some good Linking Words
activities
in their lives, Use synonyms
this
includes some Linking Words
activities
that improve themselves to be better. Use synonyms
For example
, Linking Words
instead
of spending Linking Words
time
after school to do and revise lessons, most students use Use synonyms
this
Linking Words
time
to watch and follow Use synonyms
TV
programs.
Use synonyms
Secondly
, numerous citizens have dedicated theirs to Linking Words
TV
channels. They are familiars with Use synonyms
TV
screens. They do not have Use synonyms
time
to build Use synonyms
a good relationships
with their families, friends, colleagues and so on. Correct the article-noun agreement
good relationships
a good relationship
Furthermore
, they are more likely to be a lazy person which makes them procrastinate Linking Words
another
Replace the adjective
another activity
other activities
activities
. Use synonyms
For instance
, when children have poor interaction with their family, they tend to waste Linking Words
time
doing some Use synonyms
activities
that Use synonyms
it has
less benefit, Wrong verb form
have
this
Linking Words
finally
leads to Linking Words
loss
lot of advantages for the family.
In conclusion, Television takes take much of Correct article usage
a loss
time
from the way of life of people, which makes them lose more Use synonyms
time
in order to do good Use synonyms
activities
and establish Use synonyms
a
great Correct article usage
apply
relationship
with the members of society.Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
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coherence cohesion
Ensure logical flow and clear progression of ideas throughout the essay. Use transitional phrases and topic sentences to improve the connection between paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Include both an introduction and conclusion to frame the essay. The introduction should outline the main points to be discussed, while the conclusion should summarise them effectively.
coherence cohesion
Support main points with relevant examples and explanations. Utilise a range of sentence structures to ensure clarity and to keep the reader engaged.
task achievement
Respond fully to the task by addressing both sides of the argument if the question calls for a discussion. Ensure your position is clear throughout the essay and develop your main points thoroughly.
task achievement
Clarify and develop your ideas to ensure they are comprehensive and provide precise examples to support them. Pay attention to the clarity of your arguments to ensure they are easily understood.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.