IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think that wild animals should not be kept in zoos. Others believe that there are good reasons for having zoos. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #animals #zoos
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There are some beliefs that when there is a mixture of citizenship, a
country
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 can improve its improvement. In my opinion, I believe these statements can be both true and false at the same time. A mixture of communities may promote a
country
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's evolution as some particular ethnic groups are more proficient in one particular activity than another nationality.
For example
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, Jamaican has a superior body in running. They are whipping out all the gold medals in running. Each nationality has its own strongness, so they can help each other to develop the
country
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.
On the other hand
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, expansion in the
country
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 may not be fast when different nationalities are in one
country
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 due to the conflicts between the locals and the foreigners about culture and language differences.
For instance
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, conflicts may arise and result in slower progress as there are going to be communication difficulties between the local citizens and foreigners.
In addition
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, local citizens may be annoyed by foreign people taking away their jobs, creating more anger between each other. To exemplify, the USA is one of the countries that have a multinational population. The USA has developed a lot over the past decade and is a leader in technology but at the same time, it contains many social issues
such
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 as race hatred. The USA is expected to develop less compared to other countries for many reasons, but mainly due to intelligent and competitive foreign experts leaving their
country
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. In conclusion, I believe different citizenship will play a critical role in the
country
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's improvement.
However
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, the government should educate their local people to understand and respect other
country
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's cultures in order to maximise the productivity in their
country
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.
Submitted by paulsk.ju on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • captivity
  • natural habitat
  • artificial enclosures
  • genetic diversity
  • animal welfare
  • conservation efforts
  • endangered species
  • biodiversity
  • education platform
  • breeding programs
  • reintroduction
  • psychological suffering
What to do next:
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