Some argue that music mainly serves as a way for individuals to reduce their stress and anxiety. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Music
is mainly used to reduce
stress
and
anxiety
.
Although
music
can calm
people
when they are stressed or angry about something,
music
is used in happy moments, too to be happier and increase their mood. On the one hand, most
people
use
music
to reduce
stress
and
anxiety
situations
and even
music
can uplift their mood, especially in the evening most stressful
people
listen to calm
music
to reduce their
stress
. Calm
music
can get quiet when
people
are angry.
For example
, in fact, most calm musics are produced to get quite stressful
people
.
Therefore
, most
music
can calm
anxiety
and stressful person.
On the other hand
, there are other significant
situations
in which is necessary to
use
music
.
Music
can be used to have fun and in some happy
situations
when
people
are happy with something. When
people
enjoy something, they want to listen to some funny
music
and even want to dance to some entertaining
music
from enjoying.
For instance
, at weddings or birthdays, most
people
use
entertaining
music
to be happier and have a wonderful day. So,
music
can be used for other significant
situations
, too. In conclusion, most musics are used to reduce the level of
stress
and
anxiety
. Quiet kinds of
music
can calm
people
in stressful and anxious
situations
. But, there are other
situations
, too to
use
music
.
Such
as in happy moments, most
people
want to listen to some funnier
music
, especially at weddings or birthdays.
Music
can remind
people
of good memories.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow of ideas in your essay. Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next, helping the reader follow your argument more easily.
task achievement
Provide more detailed explanations and examples to clarify your points. This will help demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic and improve your task achievement score.
task achievement
Ensure a consistent level of formality in your writing style, as some parts of the essay are more informal than others.
coherence cohesion
The essay begins with a clear introduction that outlines the main points that will be discussed.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main arguments presented in the essay.
task achievement
You have provided specific contexts where music is used, such as weddings and stressful situations, which helps support your argument.

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