Some argue that music mainly serves as a way for individuals to reduce their stress and anxiety. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

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Music
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is mainly used to reduce
stress
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and
anxiety
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.
Although
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music
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can calm
people
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when they are stressed or angry about something,
music
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is used in happy moments, too to be happier and increase their mood. On the one hand, most
people
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use
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music
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to reduce
stress
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and
anxiety
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situations
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and even
music
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can uplift their mood, especially in the evening most stressful
people
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listen to calm
music
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to reduce their
stress
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. Calm
music
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can get quiet when
people
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are angry.
For example
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, in fact, most calm musics are produced to get quite stressful
people
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.
Therefore
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, most
music
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can calm
anxiety
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and stressful person.
On the other hand
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, there are other significant
situations
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in which is necessary to
use
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music
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.
Music
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can be used to have fun and in some happy
situations
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when
people
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are happy with something. When
people
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enjoy something, they want to listen to some funny
music
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and even want to dance to some entertaining
music
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from enjoying.
For instance
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, at weddings or birthdays, most
people
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use
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entertaining
music
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to be happier and have a wonderful day. So,
music
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can be used for other significant
situations
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, too. In conclusion, most musics are used to reduce the level of
stress
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and
anxiety
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. Quiet kinds of
music
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can calm
people
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in stressful and anxious
situations
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. But, there are other
situations
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, too to
use
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music
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.
Such
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as in happy moments, most
people
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want to listen to some funnier
music
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, especially at weddings or birthdays.
Music
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can remind
people
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of good memories.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow of ideas in your essay. Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next, helping the reader follow your argument more easily.
task achievement
Provide more detailed explanations and examples to clarify your points. This will help demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic and improve your task achievement score.
task achievement
Ensure a consistent level of formality in your writing style, as some parts of the essay are more informal than others.
coherence cohesion
The essay begins with a clear introduction that outlines the main points that will be discussed.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main arguments presented in the essay.
task achievement
You have provided specific contexts where music is used, such as weddings and stressful situations, which helps support your argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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