IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Many parents encourage young people to leave home when the become older. While others thinks that they should stay at home with family. Discouse both views and give your own opinion.

#parents #people #home #become #discouse
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Beyond qualm, family plays a momentous in every tom, dick, and harry's
life
Use synonyms
. presently, majority of
parents
Use synonyms
 stimulate of their springs to leave their residential place when they become adult whilst other's
people
Use synonyms
 considered that young
people
Use synonyms
 must have stayed with their family. There are manifold reasons associated with the former view. To commence with, in
this
Linking Words
 materialistic world, leaving
home
Use synonyms
 and settling in enormous cities is not only the best way to combat the dilemma of poverty but youngsters can be
also
Linking Words
 learnt countless
life
Use synonyms
 skills namely washing clothes making food, paying utility bills and so forth.
In other words
Linking Words
, for the future of young
people
Use synonyms
, leaving
home
Use synonyms
 is extremely fruitful today. Apart from
this
Linking Words
, young individuals either attain a golden opportunity for better employment or higher study by migration to another place. What is more, when grown-up children are exited their
home
Use synonyms
then
Linking Words
 whether they become self-reliant to make their decision they can be seen the real world without the protective shadow of their family members ,
for instance
Linking Words
, A recent survey proves that in many developed more than three-quarters young
people
Use synonyms
 have lived alone therefor they are more independent than those who live their family. To add to it, in incipient countries majority of
people
Use synonyms
 face financial crisis ,
however
Linking Words
, when young
people
Use synonyms
 leave
home
Use synonyms
 for work.
Then
Linking Words
 they can mitigate the burden of their
parents
Use synonyms
. At
last
Linking Words
, as every family want the prosperity of their wards,
hence
Linking Words
 if young
people
Use synonyms
 leave their
home
Use synonyms
then
Linking Words
 they can manage both their own
life
Use synonyms
 and time along with
this
Linking Words
 , they can learn how to set priorities. To acquire success in their
life
Use synonyms
. There are umpteen factors associated with the letter view. To initiate with, it is undeniable that majority of young teenagers are not prepared to leave their
home
Use synonyms
 and live independently themself, to be specific as at tender
age
Use synonyms
 these
people
Use synonyms
 are neither mature nor have that much ability to make good decisions. As a repercussion, young
people
Use synonyms
 become addicted to both narcotics and alcohol. Eventually, In the latter years of
life
Use synonyms
parents
Use synonyms
 are required proper care
hence
Linking Words
 young
people
Use synonyms
 must be lived at
home
Use synonyms
 with their
parents
Use synonyms
. To demonstrate, in latter
age
Use synonyms
parents
Use synonyms
 feels monotonous and lonely, they aspire to share their feelings and experience. Ergo, it is the owner of youngsters to take of their
parents
Use synonyms
 at an older
age
Use synonyms
. From my standpoint,
although
Linking Words
 leaving
home
Use synonyms
 is a better opportunity for today's young
people
Use synonyms
,
however
Linking Words
, they must be taken responsibility for their
parents
Use synonyms
 at a later
age
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by rehaljas662 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: