Due to increasing world demands for oil and gas energy, people need to look for new sources of energy in remote and untouched natural places. Do the advantages of locating these sources outweigh the disadvantages?

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As global

energy

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demand continues to rise, more alternative sources of power in remote and untouched natural

areas

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are explored.

This

Linking Words

approach might bring some benefits like covering the increasing

energy

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demand, but the disadvantages are more significant, especially in terms of environmental impact

such

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as harming the local ecosystem and long-term increasing climate change. Searching for new oil and gas in untouched regions may bring some advantages. These fossils are still the main sources of

energy

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, by detecting new resources the growing demand of our society can be covered.

Furthermore

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, the exploration of new resources can lead to a growing economy in these rural

areas

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. The oil drilling companies bring money to rural

areas

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as well as

Linking Words

jobs for the people

around

Correct pronoun usage

around them

show examples

. The investment of these companies

also

Linking Words

helps to expand the infrastructure with new roads and houses

as well as

Linking Words

schools.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, the exploration of rural

areas

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has

also

Linking Words

disadvantages

such

Linking Words

as environmental damage. One major concern is the environmental impact

Change preposition

show examples

conquering new fossil

areas

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. Many of these untouched

areas

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are rich in biodiversity, drilling oil and gas may destroy animals and harm the local ecosystem. By taking away the

natrual

Correct your spelling

natural

living space of some animals, they will leave the area or even worse become distinct because lacking the right

breading

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breeding

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spot.

In addition

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, these activities often involve deforestation and pollution, which contributes to our ongoing climate change.

Lower

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The lower

A lower

show examples

number of trees have

lesser

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a lesser

show examples

capacity to filter the air and

therefore

Linking Words

the pollution increases. Once these

areas

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are damaged, it is difficult or even impossible to restore them. In conclusion,

while

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there are some benefits to exploring

energy

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sources in remote natural

areas

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, the long-term environmental damage and the continued dependence on fossil fuels mean that the disadvantages outweigh the advantages. A better solution is to invest in renewable

energy

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and protect our planet for future generations.

elizasophieTue Apr 22 2025

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task achievement

Consider providing more specific examples to support your points about environmental impact and economic benefits. This will enhance the depth of your argument.

coherence and cohesion

Make sure to clearly signal the transition between paragraphs and points to help your reader follow your argument more easily.

coherence and cohesion

Review the essay for minor grammatical issues and consider rephrasing some sentences for clarity and conciseness.

task achievement

The essay presents a clear viewpoint on the topic and effectively addresses the prompt.

coherence and cohesion

The structure is generally effective, with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

313 words

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Due to increasing world demands for oil and gas energy, people need to look for new sources of energy in remote and untouched natural places. Do the advantages of locating these sources outweigh the disadvantages?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Advances in transportation technology have made it easier than ever before to travel long distances. How do these innovations impact global connectivity and environmental sustainability? Discuss the potential consequences and benefits.

Some people feel that entertainers (e.g. film stars, pop musicians or sports stars) are paid too much. Do you agree or disagree? What other types of job should be highly paid?

In many countries, the number of animals and plants is declining. Why do you think this is happening? How can this issue be solved?

Many people believe that watching a live performance is more enjoyable than watching the same event on television. To what extent do you agree or disagree?