The increase use of mobile phone and computers makes people lose the ability to communicate face to face. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Sophisticated technology has changed the way of communication drastically.
However
, it is an argued issue whether the utilisation of these gadgets has dominated
people
's sense of socialization. I agree with the notion owing to the surge of electronic devices and the prevalence of online communication among
people
. Commencing with the most prominent reason why
people
have more desire to speak online rather than face to face . Since most of the talks encompass lectures, interviews and other personal issues or professional meetings are conducted online rather than face-to-face.
Furthermore
, it makes
people
bereft of natural inabilities to talk with another person.
Additionally
,It can be illustrated that today's generation finds it an arduous task to communicate with strange
people
when they have to deal with customers .
Furthermore
, if they see someone who needs help they feel
hesitated
Replace the word
hesitant
show examples
to help him.
Consequently
, it jeopardises not only their career opportunities but
also
their quality of life. Another worth considering reason is the hectic schedule .
Due to
electronic glitches, they won't spend their quality time with other members.
Moreover
,
instead
of relying upon phones and computers solely for operational tasks, every household chore, and relishing free time , is done with the help of mobile phones and laptops.
For instance
, games like Pubg and Ludo, are used by a myriad of dwellers to attain amusement. Ergo, gadgets have left them with no time to look for something else.
To conclude
,
although
electronic device possessions have become an inevitable part of everyday life.It is true that
due to
the innovation of technology, physical interaction has been demolished.
Submitted by harjass308 on

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task achievement
Good job presenting the issue and taking a clear stance. Try to incorporate more specific and relevant examples to strengthen your argument. For instance, provide data or individual stories to exemplify the impact of technology on face-to-face communication.
coherence cohesion
Enhance the clarity of your ideas by crafting more detailed and logically interconnected paragraphs. Make sure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next, maintaining a clear narrative throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
Although your introduction and conclusion are solid, the main body would benefit from better organization and development of points with supportive evidence. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea supported by specific details.
task achievement
Your introduction and conclusion effectively frame your argument and provide a comprehensive overview of your position on the impact of technology on face-to-face communication.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is clear. You've clearly divided the essay into sections that tackle different aspects of the issue.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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