some young people are leaving the countryside to live in cities and towns, leaving only old people in the countryside. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

#people #countryside #cities #towns #development

It is certainly true that

Correct article usage

the middle-age

show examples

middle-age

Correct your spelling

middle-aged

show examples

population prefers to move to cities. Whereas, It can see that upward trend of old community in village rising since a decade.

This

leads to positive and negative development which I will discuss in

this

essay.

Firstly

, In today's ,generation younger crowd moved out from countryside due to the fact that fewer

facilities

Such

as basic Healthcare

facilities

, education, electricity.

Besides

this

, they suffered from an

economical

Replace the word

economic

show examples

crisis to compete in today's world. In the contrast, they will have more chances to gain employment in cities to fulfil their basic needs. They will get more advanced culture, entertainment

facilities

, and there is a chance to improve their living standards of life. They will get lots of

opportunity

Change to a plural noun

opportunities

show examples

to describe their culture on

big

Add an article

a big

the big

show examples

platform. Like people using their art and craft activity and pottery

art

Add a comma

,art

show examples

they will gain profit and

this

the

weay

Correct your spelling

way

to earn extra money.

On the other hand

, the population of older folk skyrocketing increasing, from the latest data represented by the government in the newspaper. To illustrate

this

, children are not getting school

facilities

as well as

a healthcare

Correct the article-noun agreement

healthcare facilities

a healthcare facility

show examples

facilities

Moreover

, Old nation

sell

Change the verb form

sells

show examples

their farms to contractors they will do the farming activity by the labour and gain profit from that field. Even though, Countryside family are healthier than city society.

This

is the great advantage we have seen from village folk. In conclusion, the mid-age population have more benefit to move to a city like the economic level they are stable in a few years and start their family. Whereas old society will get fresh air compared to them, which is beneficial for them.

Submitted by kdsharma1706 on Tue Dec 28 2021

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

276 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

migration
economic opportunities
urban areas
rural industries
cultural heritage
overpopulation
infrastructure
healthcare facilities
educational institutions
neglect
workforce
traditional cultures
customs
pollution
support systems

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some young people are leaving the countryside to live in cities and towns, leaving only old people in the countryside. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agrée or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Topic: Some people argue that technological advancements have made our lives easier, while others believe that they have led to increased stress and isolation. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In the past, most people worked for small businesses, while more people now work for large businesses. What are the advantages and disadvantages of working for large businesses?

Some people think that museums should be enjoyable places to entertain people, while others beilieve that the purpose of the museums is to educate. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Doctors, nurses and teachers make a great contribution to society and should be payed more than entertainment and sport celebrities. Do you agree or disagree?