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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Some people believe the purpose of prison is to punish, while other would argue that rehabilitation is its primary role. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #purpose #prison #rehabilitation #role
A highly controversial issue today relates to the purpose of the jailing system, whether it has to provide shrift or be the place, where sentenced individuals can experience a positive change. In
this
 essay, I am going to examine both points of view and
then
 give my opinion on the matter. On one side of the argument, there are
people
 who claim that the benefits of simply punishing prisoners outweigh its disadvantages. The main reason for believing
this
 is that these
people
 are here for a reason; there are murderers, rapists, and thieves, who know no language but the language of violence,
thus
, their punishment should be vile too.
Moreover
, it might bring relief to the victims or the victim's relatives, knowing the villain received exactly what he deserved.
On the other hand
, it is
also
 possible to make an opposing case. It is often argued that rehabilitation should be the main focus of the jailing system.
People
 often have
this
 opinion because usually these
people
 come from the lowest layers of society and committed a crime on the ground of despair. In
jail
Add a comma
,jail
show examples
 they have plenty of time to think of what they did, reflect on their behaviour, as they do community work or learn new hobbies. As well as
this
, the prison staff can work on criminals' behaviours, help them to understand the consequences of their actions by involving therapists and social workers. A particularly good example here is the creation of rehabilitation groups that tend to help prisoners to work on their child traumas, how it has affected their life and how they can cope with it. In conclusion , I believe both sides have their own merits respectively. On balance,
however
, I believe that it is wrong to combat violence with violence. I feel that jails should become more
people
-oriented and focus on rehabilitation rather than punishment. Given
this
 situation, it seems that rebuilding the mindsets of the delinquents can positively affect society as they will be set free.
Submitted by petrenkodina02 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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