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Band 4.5

Smoking not only harms smokers, but also those who are nearby. Therefore, smoking should be banned in public places. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#smokers #places
It is undoubtedly undeniable that smoking causes some problems for a person who smokes and his surroundings. I believe that
smokers
 should be allowed to pull on cigarettes in open areas.
This
 is due to some long-term mental and physical problems
smokers
 and nearby
people
 will be suffering from soon. The fact is that cigarette encompasses different types of toxic substances, a good illustration of these are toilet cleaners, nicotine, methanol, hexamine and etcetera. In daily
life
Add a comma
,life
show examples
 not only working with these things are hazardous but
also
inhalationing
Correct your spelling
inhalation
inhalations
 them as a cigarette`s
vapor
Change the spelling
vapour
show examples
 can
causes
Change the verb form
cause
show examples
 serious health problems. Since
1920s
Change the article
the 1920s
show examples
this
 is
also
 testified by scientists and doctors that there is a direct relationship between smoking and respiratory illness, imagine an infant or old person,
although
 breathing for them is more complicated in comparison to other
people
, it will be more difficult in inhalation & exhalation progress while facing cigarette`s smoke.
People
 often sometimes could not recognize that how harmful
smokers
 are to them or usually it is deeply embarrassing for them to notify
smokers
 to give up smoking in public places because of their
personalitys
Correct your spelling
personality
personalities
trait
Fix the agreement mistake
traits
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. It was revolutionary in 1995 when California became the
first
 state to ban smoking in the workplace, including public buildings, indoor
work spaces
Correct your spelling
workspaces
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 and restaurants. Three years later in 1998, that ban extended to include bars, taverns and gaming clubs— most workplaces across the state to prevent
people
. In conclusion, I totally believe that governments should put more pressure on
smokers
 by limiting them not to
smoke
Wrong verb form
smoking
show examples
 everywhere.
Submitted by TUTOO on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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