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Band 6.5

Many people today do not feel safe either at home or when they are out. What are the causes? What are the solutions?

#people #home
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Nowadays, the
security
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 issue is becoming people's concern. A lot of communities, these days, perceive unsafe to be at
home
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 or being out of their houses. There have been so many
causes
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 why currently the
security
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 problem is getting crisis.
This
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 essay will discuss the
causes
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 and purpose of the measures which need to be taken.
To begin
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 with, one of the
causes
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 why the notion can happen is the lack of
security
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 systems utilised at homes and outside the houses.
For example
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, in Bengkulu city, the local community are worried to stay
home
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 without setting up CCTV at their homes. If there are no cameras set, it is intriguing offenders steal or do bad things to the community at
home
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. Another reason why
this
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 issue happens is that the number of unemployed society is increased significantly nowadays.
Therefore
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, these all things support others to conduct offensive actions resulting in unsafe feelings to the general society.
In addition
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, to tackle
this
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 issue, there are some steps that can be done.
Firstly
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, the government can provide a tighter
security
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 system around the cities by asking police officers to work more hours to save the places.
Secondly
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, the government can open or provide more career vacancies for the public so that they have adequate income to avoid being offensive.
Thus
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,
this
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 is a local authority role that should impart more attention on both giving tighter local
security
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 systems and granting job opportunities to the society. To sum up, feeling unsafe can appear due to several
causes
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 which are lacking
security
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 systems and job availability.
That is
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 why some measures are to be done to solve the issues; conferring more police officers to watch their surroundings and providing more job opportunities to the public. I think if these all things are conducted there would not be anyone who is feeling afraid of being at
home
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 or outside the house anymore.
Submitted by andri.saputraozz on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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