IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Individuals should be allowed to carry guns. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#individuals #guns
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In
this
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 day and age, the debate surrounding
gun
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 ownership remains a contentious issue globally.
This
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 essay agrees with the statement because having
firearm
Correct article usage
a firearm
show examples
 will contribute to the
increase
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 of crime in society and affect
people
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's mental health.
To begin
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 with, the prevalence of
guns
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 in the community means incidents like robbery and other
crimes
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 are more likely to carry the risk of
gun
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violence
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. When
guns
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 are easily accessible, there is a higher likelihood of impulsive acts of
violence
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 and
crimes
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 of passion. To understand how the mass ownership of
guns
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 can
increase
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 the
violence
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 in a
country
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 we can compare a
country
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 like the USA, where carrying a
gun
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 is allowed, with a
country
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 like Japan, where it is restricted. In 2018, when the United States experienced over 24,000
gun
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-related homicides, Japan had only 21 and
this
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 is quite an alarming comparison that reveals how firearms ownership by mass
people
Use synonyms
 can
increase
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violence
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 in a
country
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.
Moreover
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, owning a
gun
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 can psychologically affect our behaviors and
thus
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people
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 often commit
crimes
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 only because they have
guns
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 with them.
Therefore
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, letting the public carry
guns
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 puts others' lives at risk rather than ensuring safety for all. Research indicates that accidental, psychological, and family
violence
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 gunshot wounds and deaths are quite high in countries where
people
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 can carry
guns
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 with them, and the only way to reduce
such
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 crime rates is not allowing
people
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 to own and carry
guns
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 on their wish. In conclusion, allowing citizens to carry
guns
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 does
increase
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crimes
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 and
violence
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 and leads to negative impacts on their mental health.
As a result
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, there is no doubt that
people
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 in a
country
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 should not be allowed to carry firearms.
Submitted by hhhakfatkiu on

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task achievement
Strengthen your argument by examining potential counterarguments and addressing them. This will show a balanced understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Improve transitions between the introduction, body, and conclusion to make the essay flow more smoothly.
task achievement
The essay provides a clear stance and maintains it consistently throughout.
task achievement
The essay includes relevant examples and data, enhancing the argument.
coherence cohesion
The argument is logically structured, with clear points supporting the central thesis.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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