Young people do not spend their holidays or weekend doing outdoor activities like hiking and climbing in natural environment why what can be done to encourage them to go outside.

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this

Linking Words

cutting-edge era, a host of youngsters do have

activities

Use synonyms

more than outside

activities

Use synonyms

during holidays.

However

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, there are several reasons for

this

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phenomenon.

This

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essay will articulate some reasons and suggest ways to change that in the following paragraphs. Admittedly, the first and foremost point is a revolution in technology. To explain, there are a myriad of teenagers who prefer to spend their weekends on electronic devices rather than outside

games

Use synonyms

For example

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, TV programs have a variety of entertainment for youth.

As a result

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, youngsters have less time to play in the natural environment. Despite

this

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, video

games

Use synonyms

consume time among adolescents.

For instance

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, in recent studies, researchers proved that 75 % of teenagers spend their holidays on the internet.

For example

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, my real brother plays

games

Use synonyms

at night at all weekends with their friends.

Nevertheless

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, a few actions should be taken to motivate youngsters to do outside

activities

Use synonyms

. The prominent way is

activities

Use synonyms

desirable for youth. To be more precise, the government may arrange a competition for some

activities

Use synonyms

such

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as walking and hulking and they should

also

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give good rewards to the winners.

In contrast

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, parents have some responsibility to prompt children to participate in the event.

For instance

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, AYZ Sports is an encouraging Young people walk in the open air and

also

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give awards to the winners.

Therefore

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, teenagers play more outside

games

Use synonyms

rather than indoor

games

Use synonyms

. In conclusion, numerous adults may prefer playing Internet

instead

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of going out.

However

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, the state and family should motivate them to do outside

activities

Use synonyms

by organizing a few events to make them more interested.

karanbadwal3233Tue Jan 07 2025

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coherence cohesion

Improve the logical flow of ideas by ensuring each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. This will aid in maintaining coherence throughout the essay.

task achievement

Incorporate more varied and specific examples to strengthen your arguments and make them more relatable.

coherence cohesion

While the introduction and conclusion are present, try to ensure that they clearly frame the main points and summarize the argument effectively.

task achievement

The essay addresses the task by discussing reasons why young people may not engage in outdoor activities and suggests solutions.

task achievement

You provided relevant examples, such as mentioning your brother's gaming habits and the AYZ Sports initiative, which help illustrate your points.

coherence cohesion

The essay includes both an introduction and a conclusion, which helps provide a sense of completeness to your writing.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

267 words

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Young people do not spend their holidays or weekend doing outdoor activities like hiking and climbing in natural environment why what can be done to encourage them to go outside.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people say that in our modern age it is unnecessary to teach children about the skills of handwriting. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal informations such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. some people say that this information may be relevant and useful, others disagree. discuss both views and include your opinion.

Some people think that employers should not care about the way their employees dress, because what matters is the quality of therir work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people claim that not enough of the woste from homes is recycled. They say that the only way increase make it recycling a is to for government to legal requirement