IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people say human are rigid. To what extent do you agree?

#people
As my current work is focusing on improvement in the company that has already been running for years, for my future master’s lesson, I intend to focus studying on how to help Start-up companies or Small and Medium Enterprises that have just run their businesses either with their owned capital or with
investment
 from foreign countries, allocate their capital effectively and efficiently. I am inspired by people around me who have just built their businesses
,
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apply
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 but have to close their
business
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businesses
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 due to financial problems, especially in
this
 pandemic.
Therefore
, I need to improve my knowledge
in
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of
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 finance. At the same time, I would like to take part in realizing
one
 of the sustainable development goals of the United Nations about decent work and economic growth that aimed to encourage the formalization and growth of Small and Medium Enterprises, including through access to financial services. I would like to start from my motherland, Indonesia. I choose
Cornivus
Correct article usage
the Cornivus
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University
 of Budapest because it is recognized by the Institute of Chartered Financial Analysts (CFA) and the core modules offered include ‘Investments’ and ‘Applied Business Valuation’ that will strengthen my skills.
In addition
, I am already excited as it has a financial laboratory
that is
 equipped with Bloomberg and Reuters terminals to support my study.
On the other hand
, Budapest
University
 of Technology and Economics is
also
one
 of the universities that I would like to study in since it is accredited by
CFA
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the CFA
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 Institute and
Global
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the Global
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 Association of Risk Professionals (GARP). Similar to Cornivus
University
, Budapest
University
 offers ‘Investments’ and ‘Valuation of Enterprises’ compulsory modules to enhance my knowledge.
One
 challenge that I may face while studying abroad is language, but I am eager to learn both English and Hungarian language to support my study in Hungary. Upon gaining
master's
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a master's
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 degree, I plan to work in the government, particularly in the Ministry of
Investment
, to implement what I have learnt for economic growth in Indonesia. As
one
 of the emerging market
economics
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economies
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 of the world, my home country has been received lots of
investment
. Hungary is
one
 of the key partners for Indonesia as the
investment
 reached US$ 1.5 billion in 2020. I really hope to be accepted
in
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into
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 your master degree program. It will be
such
 a privilege to experience finance education in Hungary. Please accept my deepest appreciation and gratitude for
you
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your
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further
 assessment and consideration.
Submitted by noviburg28 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • transnational problems
  • climate change
  • ozone layer depletion
  • pollution
  • collaborative efforts
  • pooling of resources
  • expertise
  • technology
  • innovative solutions
  • international standards
  • race to the bottom
  • environmental standards
  • capacity
  • impacts
  • national sovereignty
  • independently
  • economic
  • social contexts
  • international consensus
  • legal
  • political systems
  • enforcement
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