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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people say that in the digital age, theatres and cinemas are no longer important as people can watch all the entertainment they want online. Others argue that theatres and cinemas are still important both economically and culturally. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Many
people
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 talk about
cinemas
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 and
movies
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 in the digital age. Some
people
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 think
cinemas
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 are not important now, but others think they are still good for us.
This
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 essay will look at both sides of
this
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 topic. On the one hand, watching
movies
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 online makes
cinemas
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 not important for some
people
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.
First,
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watching online is very easy at home.
For
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example
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, you can watch
movies
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 on your phone or television.
Also
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, you do not need to drive a car in traffic to go out.
Second,
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watching online saves a lot of money. An
example
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 of
this
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 is paying a small price to see many
movies
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.
In addition
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, you do not buy expensive food and drinks at the cinema.
Finally
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,
people
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 have many video options on the internet.
For
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example
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, you can watch free videos on YouTube every day.
Moreover
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, you can stop the movie when you are tired and finish it later.
On the other hand
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,
cinemas
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 are still very important for
people
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 today.
First,
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going to the cinema is fun with other
people
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.
For
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example
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, you can go out with your friends on weekends.
Also
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, you can sit and talk together after the movie.
Second,
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cinemas
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 give a much better movie experience. An
example
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 is having a very big screen and loud sound.
In addition
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, watching
movies
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 with many
people
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 in one room is very exciting.
Finally
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,
cinemas
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 help the economy and culture in the country.
For
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example
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, they give good jobs to many young
people
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.
Moreover
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, theatres keep local stories and traditional culture alive for everyone. In conclusion, watching
movies
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 online is very easy, but going to the cinema is still a special activity. In the end,
people
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 can choose the best way to enjoy their free time.

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task response
Estimated score: 5. Your answer is clear, but the ideas are too short and simple for a higher score. Explain each main point more: say why it matters and what result it has.
task response
Give a clear opinion in the start and repeat it in the end. For example: “I think cinemas are still important, but online watching is better for some people.”
task response
Your examples are very general. Add one real or clear example. For jobs, say that cinemas need people to sell tickets, clean rooms, and work with food.
task response
Talk more about theatres too. The question asks about theatres and cinemas, but most of your essay is only about movies and cinemas.
coherence and cohesion
Your order is good, but many lines use the same shape: “First... For example... Also...” Try to join ideas in a more natural way.
coherence and cohesion
Make the last line stronger. “People can choose” does not fully show your view. State clearly why cinemas and theatres should still stay open.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear links between the main ideas. For example: “This is useful for people with little time.” Then move to the next point.
task response
You discuss both views: online watching and cinema visits. You also give your own view in the end.
task response
Your ideas stay on the topic. The points about cost, ease, friends, jobs, and culture are useful.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear start, two main body parts, and an ending.
coherence and cohesion
Words such as “On the one hand”, “On the other hand”, “First”, and “For example” help the reader follow your ideas.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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