Nowadays, doctors can become very rich. Maybe they should not focus on profitable activities such as plastic surgery or looking after rich patients and concentrate more on patient's health, no matter how rich they are. Do you agree or disagree?

It is true that
doctors
can become very rich. Maybe they should not focus on profitable activities
such
as
plastic
surgery
or looking after rich
patients
and concentrate more on
patients
' health, no
matter
how rich they are. In my opinion, I strongly agree with
this
statement and the following examples will be provided in order to support my point of view. One of the most important reasons
doctors
can become very rich. Maybe they should not focus on profitable activities
such
as
plastic
surgery
or looking after rich
patients
and concentrate more on patient's fitness, no
matter
how rich they are is that all the
people
no
matter
they are rich
people
or poor
people
should have
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
potentiality to get treated equally since every life are valuable due to most of the
people
is likely to have a family or friends. .
For example
, according to the latest research conducted by Bangkok University, it is revealed that 80% of
patients
in Thailand is a poor
people
;
However
, They have friends or family that cry when
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
patients
get hurt, have meant that they are valuable for the family.
This
example shows that all the
patients
play a major role in their ducks. Another reason to support
this
is the fact that
doctors
should pay attention to
patients
'
strength
Fix the agreement mistake
strengths
show examples
more than a profit .
This
is because if
expert
Fix the agreement mistake
experts
show examples
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
only interesting to be rich
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
will do not have a doctor to look after
patients
enough. To illustrate
this
, in recent news, it has been reported that In Australia has been got into trouble lack of physician
as
Replace the word
like
show examples
most of the scientist there is more likely to study
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
plastic
surgery
,
therefore
, they can't recover
patients
that get hurt from a normal accident.
This
can
makes
Change the verb form
make
show examples
the emphasis of a normal doctor clear. In conclusion, it is undoubtedly true that
doctors
can become very rich. Maybe they should not focus on profitable activities
such
as
plastic
surgery
or looking after rich
patients
and concentrate more on patient's health, no
matter
how rich they are because all of the
people
no
matter
they are rich
people
or poor
people
should have
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
potentiality to get treated equally ,and
doctors
should pay attention to patient's health more than a profit .
Submitted by patchara8633 on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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