IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think that the best way to become successful in life is to get a university education, whereas others say this is no longer true. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #life #university #education
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University is the best
place
Use synonyms
 where a student can nurture their thoughts and become bright shining stars.Some people argue that
university
Correct article usage
a university
show examples
 education is now not at all considered
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a premium one for a student ,but
on the other hand
Linking Words
 side most people believe that an academy is a
place
Use synonyms
 where we learn
our
Change preposition
about our
show examples
life
Use synonyms
 and its value.In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will analyse both viewpoints and sum up in a conclusion. Academic
life
Use synonyms
 is always considered
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
one of the
beautiful
Correct quantifier usage
most beautiful
show examples
 and memorable ones among all the
life
Use synonyms
 seasons of humans.We conquer our ambition and all the important
life
Use synonyms
 decisions are happening during that period of time,perhaps most of the critical ones.The
place
Use synonyms
 where get our
Use synonyms
life long
Add a hyphen
life-long
show examples
 friends and teachers with whom we
spent
Wrong verb form
spend
show examples
 most of our time
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
after Parents
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 two
category
Fix the agreement mistake
categories
show examples
 of people always have a crucial role in our lives.University is a
place
Use synonyms
 where we study a lot of things rather than from books and
that is
Linking Words
 called experience , which is required for a successful career and
life
Use synonyms
 as well. Even
though
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
when we think about the other side of the coin ,tremendous
advancement
Fix the agreement mistake
advancements
show examples
 in technology helped to make growth easier , so as with the studies as well. The knowledge we can acquire from the internet is limitless, the lecturers happening in the classroom are all from that itself .So if we have a keen interest
to know
Change preposition
in knowing
show examples
 about something internet surfing itself is the best teacher.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the tuition fee
that is
Linking Words
 needed for
doing
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
graduation or
professional
Correct article usage
a professional
show examples
 degree is much so it will always force the students to end up in
low budget
Add a hyphen
low-budget
show examples
 learning .
To conclude
Linking Words
 , we can gather every single knowledge through the internet and will have several online platforms to get a detailed lecture on every topic for a student.
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 advancement in technology will not help us to create good relationships and bonding which contributes to the development of the interpersonal skills of a human being which in turn helps them to be successful in their
life
Use synonyms
 and
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
.
Submitted by amitha13489 on

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Task Response
Ensure that all parts of the essay directly relate to the task question. Clearly present both viewpoints and provide a balanced analysis.
Coherence and Cohesion
Improve the organization of ideas to enhance the overall coherence and cohesion of the essay. Use clear topic sentences and logical transitions between paragraphs.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • university degree
  • specialized knowledge
  • critical thinking skills
  • networking opportunities
  • vocational training
  • self-made entrepreneurs
  • gig economy
  • online courses
  • certifications
  • formal education
  • practical experience
  • lifelong learning
  • career goals
  • individual circumstances
  • academic qualifications
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