Some people think that the best way to become successful in life is to get a university education, whereas others say this is no longer true. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
University is the best
place
where a student can nurture their thoughts and become bright shining stars.Some people argue that university
education is now not at all considered Correct article usage
a university
as
a premium one for a student ,but Change preposition
apply
on the other hand
side most people believe that an academy is a place
where we learn our
Change preposition
about our
life
and its value.In this
essay, I will analyse both viewpoints and sum up in a conclusion.
Academic life
is always considered as
one of the Change preposition
apply
beautiful
and memorable ones among all the Correct quantifier usage
most beautiful
life
seasons of humans.We conquer our ambition and all the important life
decisions are happening during that period of time,perhaps most of the critical ones.The place
where get our life long
friends and teachers with whom we Add a hyphen
life-long
spent
most of our time Wrong verb form
spend
,
after Parents Remove the comma
apply
this
two Correct determiner usage
these
category
of people always have a crucial role in our lives.University is a Fix the agreement mistake
categories
place
where we study a lot of things rather than from books and that is
called experience , which is required for a successful career and life
as well.
Even though
when we think about the other side of the coin ,tremendous Correct word choice
apply
advancement
in technology helped to make growth easier , so as with the studies as well. The knowledge we can acquire from the internet is limitless, the lecturers happening in the classroom are all from that itself .So if we have a keen interestFix the agreement mistake
advancements
to know
about something internet surfing itself is the best teacher.Change preposition
in knowing
Moreover
, the tuition fee that is
needed for doing
graduation or Unnecessary verb
apply
professional
degree is much so it will always force the students to end up in Correct article usage
a professional
low budget
learning .
Add a hyphen
low-budget
To conclude
, we can gather every single knowledge through the internet and will have several online platforms to get a detailed lecture on every topic for a student. However
, this
advancement in technology will not help us to create good relationships and bonding which contributes to the development of the interpersonal skills of a human being which in turn helps them to be successful in their life
and career
.Fix the agreement mistake
careers
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Task Response
Ensure that all parts of the essay directly relate to the task question. Clearly present both viewpoints and provide a balanced analysis.
Coherence and Cohesion
Improve the organization of ideas to enhance the overall coherence and cohesion of the essay. Use clear topic sentences and logical transitions between paragraphs.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite