In some countries, it is believed that teenagers should be encouraged to do part-time jobs. Some people say it is a good practice. Others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#countries #teenagers #jobs #people #practice

Part-time jobs are considered a good way for teenagers to obtain experience before actually getting a full-time job.

However

, some people do not agree with

this

activity. In

this

essay, I will explain why I believe that part-time should be encouraged among younger adults. One of the most benefits of working part-time during high school is that

such

work prepares them for the world outside of education.

This

is because during adolesce is the time you have to decide what kind of professional worker is more suitable for your profile.

For example

, during the half-period

job

Add a comma

,job

show examples

it is possible to have an idea of some types of professions, and experience or have some contact with some professional adults.

Consequently

, part-time jobs can help students make a more conscious choice and be more prepared for the future. Another benefit is learning how to manage the payment. The reason for

that is

that they could improve their financial skills and start to be less dependent on their parent's money if they receive some salary during

this

activity.

For instance

, they could learn how to save funds and help their parents to pay for their schools.

Therefore

, they will feel more responsible and independent.

However

, some people may argue that part-job will overwhelm students because it will take out from the time that could be dedicated to the study. So, they could fail in some disciplines which will harm their curriculum. Focusing on money, some people may argue that giving money to teenagers could be irresponsible since they do not have control of their spending.

Thus

, they could make debts or buy useless things. In conclusion, the main benefits of working part-time during adolescence are the experience of learning something new, which could help them find their way in a professional future, and the opportunity to earn some funds and learn how to manage it. But some drawbacks could be related to less time to study and misuse of the payment. To my mind, the benefits of part-time outweigh the drawbacks

Remove the comma

apply

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and should be encouraged among youth.

Submitted by julia.mattioli8 on Mon Jan 17 2022

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

344 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In some countries, it is believed that teenagers should be encouraged to do part-time jobs. Some people say it is a good practice. Others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

These days, more and more people move away from the area where they were born and brought up when they become adults. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people say international sports event help in world peace? Do you agree or disagree?

Wealthy nations should assist poorer countries with humanitarian relief during natural disasters. Do you agree or disagree?

Discuss advantages and disadvantages of watching horror movies.

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children).