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Writing Samples
Band 7

Wealth does not necessarily guarantee happiness. To what extent do you agree or disagree to this statement?

#wealth #guarantee #happiness
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It is said that affluence is not the way that
people
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 could find enjoyment from
life
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 and it is strongly believed that there are so many reasons why it is in
second
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 place in all's
life
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. My consideration is that individuals needs are other things
such
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 as health and
peace
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.
Firstly
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, there is a shred of evidence that one out of five
people
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 are wealthy or at least these human beings live in a desirable condition. Even though, not all have an acceptable
life
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, due to the environmental problems which detrimentally affect them.
For instance
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, there is a lot of information which is given by the World Health Organisation where they claim openly that 90 per cent of the public live in areas that are polluted by gas emissions. It means that almost all affluent
people
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 live in the same conditions as all populations.
Therefore
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,
people
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 should take care of the environment in order to tackle
such
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 issues.
Secondly
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, obviously, there is
also
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 one more issue which damages
people
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's
life
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 and it is a war. It could be either between nations or countries which make all
people
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 anxious about their future.
Moreover
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, even very rich
people
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 will think about their
peace
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 because if there is no
peace
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then
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 businessmen could face bankruptcy. So it means that wealth is not crucial unless
people
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 do not live in
peace
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.
Therefore
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, society should be taught to live in friendship and support each other in many ways in order to not happen bad consequences. In conclusion, wealth is not an important warranty for happiness in
life
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.
Thus
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, my viewpoint is that all should have acceptable living conditions and
peace
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 in their lands in order to have a lot of money. It is claimed that it is better to have health than wealth.
Submitted by Ozy_boy on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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