some people think that is better to educate boys and girls in separate school. other, however , belive that they should be taught in mixed schools. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Many individuals claim that educating in separate
schools
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is more beneficial;
on the other hand
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, some people argue that they should study in a shared school. From my perspective, students can gain hands-on social
skills
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in a shared school.
However
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, some more personal education needs private classes for both groups, and physical differences between them should
also
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be considered.
To begin
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with, a large proportion of society believes that teaching some special courses requires private classes.
For example
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, teaching about sexual relationships can be an arduous task in mixed classes. Some pupils are shy to ask their questions, and others get embarrassed.
Therefore
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, these materials can be explained better in separate
schools
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.
Moreover
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, boys are usually stronger than girls physically. If they play with each other, girls can get hurt. These physical differences can encourage boys to bully girls.
Although
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separated
schools
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offer fine advantages, mixed
schools
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can be helpful in the children's development.
Schools
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are the second important place for learning and experiencing after home. Students learn some crucial
skills
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in the education system. Social
skills
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are one of them. If
schools
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are separated based on gender, pupils will not improve their social
skills
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as well as
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in mixed
schools
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.
As a result
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, in the future, they cannot cooperate with their colleagues effectively.
In addition
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, they perform poorly in teamwork tasks. In my opinion, shared
schools
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are more beneficial because they can prepare students for a mixed society. If they study in mixed
schools
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, they can express their feelings.
To conclude
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, separate
schools
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are required for some specific courses;
however
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, mixed
schools
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help children to develop their characters , which is suitable for a mixed society.

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improvement
The essay talks on both sides and give your view. Keep this, and add more clear examples to back each idea.
structure
Make topic sentence in each paragraph. Use simple link words to show how ideas are linked.
grammar
Some grammar and word choice are off. Check for small errors and use easier phrases.
style
Stick to one strong point for each side and avoid long, loose sentences.
strength
Clear view is stated in the end and the balance of ideas is shown.
structure
There is a good form, with an intro and a conclusion.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
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