IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Many people prefer to spend money and not save it. What are the reasons? Is it positive or negative?

#people #money
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In recent years it's been observed that many
individuals
Use synonyms
 are taking the approach to
spend
Change the verb form
spending
show examples
money
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 they earning rather than saving it. In
this
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 ,
essay
Add an article
an essay
the essay
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 I will be discussing the reasons for
this
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 phenomenon and why I believe it will have a detrimental effect on both society and
individuals
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.
To begin
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 with, the cardinal reason why many
people
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 spend
money
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 is to buy unnecessary things and
this
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 is mainly due to advertisements that are everywhere we go.
Moreover
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, many spend
money
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 just to feel good about themselves and improve their self-esteem by purchasing materialistic stuff,
in other words
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 using
money
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 as a therapy.
Furthermore
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, plenty of
people
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are
Change the verb form
is
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 encouraged to compete with others in regard to the latest fashion trends and keep up with technology advancements. And ,
,
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apply
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Linking Words
finally
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,finally
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 a lot of
people
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 believe that life is too short to spent saving
money
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 and we should enjoy every penny while we are still alive.
However
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, we can not ignore the plenty of problems that are associated with overspending that will lead to negative outcomes for both
individuals
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 and society.
Firstly
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 , anybody could encounter an emergency situation
such
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 as losing a job, so without having any savings these
individuals
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 will become a burden on governments,
moreover
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, in order to have a comfortable lifestyle later on in life
people
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 must have savings.
Furthermore
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,
people
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 usually buy things that they do not need and maybe they will not use
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
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 ever,
therefore
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, we might become a throw-away society that produces unnecessary waste. In conclusion,saving cash is a smart move.
People
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 should be encouraged to save
money
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 in order to have a decent life or to be able to handle any emergency situations that could emerge in the future.
Submitted by ph.amal.just on

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