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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think that sport is very important for society. Others, however, argue that it is nothing more than a leisure activity. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Concern about the importance of
sport
Use synonyms
 has heightened in recent years.
Although
Linking Words
 some individuals believe that
sport
Use synonyms
 can be simply considered as a recreational activity, (action?) I think
sport
Use synonyms
 is essential to
people
Use synonyms
’s
life
Use synonyms
 because it can improve their physical and mental health status. On the one hand, some
people
Use synonyms
 consider that
sport
Use synonyms
 does not affect their
life
Use synonyms
 massively because it is just one of the activities that be taken in leisure
time
Use synonyms
.
For the
Change preposition
The
show examples
 majority of residents, they do
exercise
Use synonyms
 merely because they want to fill up their free
time
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, many
people
Use synonyms
 join swimming
club
Fix the agreement mistake
clubs
show examples
 or
gym
Fix the agreement mistake
gyms
show examples
 after work and the reason behind
that is
Linking Words
 purely finding some recreational activities to spend their
time
Use synonyms
. Were they to be called up by other things
such
Linking Words
 as working, studying, or even friend’s party, they would easily give up playing
sport
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, if stopping doing
exercise
Use synonyms
, their
life
Use synonyms
 cannot be affected too much.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
sport
Use synonyms
 can be crucial to
individual’s
Correct article usage
an individual’s
show examples
life
Use synonyms
 as it is beneficial for their well-being. Nowadays, there has been a growing tendency for
people
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 to lead a sedentary lifestyle,
such
Linking Words
 as sitting in
office
Add an article
the office
an office
show examples
 for more than 8 hours and collapsing in front of a screen to complete their job or browse the internet.
However
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, if they are involved in physical activities, they will have sufficient
exercise
Use synonyms
 to offset the adverse effect of sitting all day.（算闭环吗 要不要加对身体好）
In addition
Linking Words
,
sport
Use synonyms
 improves mental wellbeing.
People
Use synonyms
lives
Change the verb form
live
show examples
 in a fiercely competitive society, stuffing from a variety of pressure from
time
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 to
time
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. When taking adequate
exercise
Use synonyms
, they can respite from work or study, which help them alleviate the stress.(这里算闭环吗 还是要加mental wellbeing) In conclusion,
sport
Use synonyms
 is an imperative element for
people
Use synonyms
 due to the advantage of improving physical and mental wellbeing.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Physical activity
  • Sedentary lifestyle
  • Chronic diseases
  • Teamwork
  • Cultural divides
  • Revenue generator
  • Infrastructure
  • Patriotism
  • Role models
  • Commercialization
  • Recreation
  • Stress-relief
  • Elite sports
  • Injury risks
  • Doping scandals
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