In many countries in the world people buy clothes and choose hairstyles according to latest fashion? Why is this happening? Is this a positive or a negative development?

#countries #world #people #clothes #hairstyles #fashion #development

Over the

last

two or three decades,

fashion

Add an article

the fashion

show examples

industry has been improving tremendously than ever before due to advertisements and

fashion

show competitions. In many

countries

Add a comma

,countries

show examples

mankind purchases new dresses and chooses hairstyles is based on the present

fashion

due to

Correct article usage

the influencing

show examples

influencing

Replace the word

influence

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

movies, advertisements and

fashion

shows. I think

this

positive

Correct article usage

a positive

show examples

improvement around the world and

this

essay discusses it briefly for the following reasons. There are numerous causes for today's population like to purchase new

fashion

Correct your spelling

clothes

show examples

cloths

Correct your spelling

clothes

show examples

and

hairsyles

Correct your spelling

hairstyles

First

and foremost, advertisement plays a crucial role

for

Change preposition

show examples

boosting

fashion

Correct article usage

the fashion

show examples

industry and they

provides

Change the verb form

provide

show examples

enormous

awarness

Correct your spelling

awareness

about

new

Add an article

the new

a new

show examples

trend.

Second

, movies influence enormously to the public who are watching, present films' all characters wear a new design of dresses rather than

ususual

Correct your spelling

usual

designs,

therefore

, people watch

flims

Correct your spelling

films

while they like to buy these kinds of new trendy

cloths

Correct your spelling

clothes

show examples

For example

, a Kollywood of Tamil cinema in India, Chandramugi film was a

block buster

Correct your spelling

blockbuster

show examples

movie while one of

this

movie heroine

weared

Correct your spelling

wore

show examples

a new type of saree in one song,

as a result

, mankind asked the

cloths

vendor to the same kind of saree like a Chandramugi saree.

therefore

, these are reasons for humankind likes to buy and choose a new trendy

instead

traditionals

Correct your spelling

traditional

Furthermore

, certainly,

this

is a positive improvement because people can wear a good dress,

thus

, they can show their

apperence

Correct your spelling

appearance

in a better way to

infront

Correct your spelling

in front

of others and self-confidence

also

can

increased

Change the verb form

increase

be increased

show examples

when a person

wear

Change the verb form

wears

show examples

a modern dress. To be more elaborate, these kinds of dresses and hairstyles can give tremendous beauty to the public who are using

such

as icing on the cake,

therefore

, innumerable mankind likes to

trying

Change the verb

try

show examples

the trendy design.

For instance

each

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

every year new

fashion

changes by the

fashion

designers, even though, humankind buys and uses

this

even the price is peaked.

Hence

this

fashion

dress and hairstyle reflects the technology's breakthrough. To conclude,

fashion

Correct your spelling

clothes

show examples

cloths

Correct your spelling

clothes

show examples

and hairstyles provide more self-confidence and beauty too,

therefore

, numerous humankind buys and tries these enormously.

Therefore

, I think

this

is a positive

developemnt

Correct your spelling

development

around the world undoubtedly and I hope

this

process is conducive to building a happier society.

Submitted by reanudeepan on Mon Jan 24 2022

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14Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
29Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

360 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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