IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people say that supermarkets and manufacturers have a responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging on products they sell. Others believe that it is the consumer’s responsibility to avoid buying products which have a lot of packaging. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #supermarkets #manufacturers #responsibility #amount #products #consumer’s
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In recent years, most industries have tended to change the packaging to be sustainable. Personally, I insist that it is the responsibility of
customers
 to influence eco-friendly
products
 and businesses; support will be illustrated in the following paragraph: On the one hand, Manufacturers are able to redesign their
products
 to be eco-friendly by changing their materials to biodegradable or eliminating some unnecessary packaging;
in addition
, supermarkets are capable of reducing plastic bags and recycling paper boxes.
For instance
, Macro department stores in Thailand build areas for recycling boxes to service their clients–storing
products
 when they buy.
On the other hand
,
customers
 can drive the demand for sustainable
products
. When people have a high awareness of plastic waste, it will affect manufacturers’ change.
For example
, the packaging of tremendous teas in Thailand has been changed to biodegradable grade because most people are concerned about micro-plastic which leads to their health problems.
Moreover
, supermarkets will contribute to the campaign to support eco-
products
 when sustainable
products
 are in high demand.
For instance
, some areas of supermarkets in The Mall department stores in Thailand are renovated to be zones of sustainable
products
–leading to them being popular with
customers
 who love eco-
products
. In my opinion, the vast majority of customer’s demands are exceedingly important to the movement of sustainable
products
. If people have a high awareness of reducing packages ,companies and retailers will need to follow. As I mentioned, even though manufacturers are the key to reducing packages and developing
products
 to be sustainable.
However
, they need to be influenced by the demands of
customers
 to move the force of eliminating plastic.
Therefore
, it is the responsibility of clients to be aware of the problem of unnecessary packaging.
Submitted by jeebjib14 on

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introduction conclusion present
Ensure that your introduction clearly outlines both sides of the argument before presenting your opinion. This sets the stage for a balanced discussion.
logical structure
Clarify the relevance of your examples to strengthen your points. For instance, explain how Macro department stores' recycling area helps in reducing packaging waste.
logical structure
Improve the logical flow by ensuring smooth transitions between paragraphs and within sentences. This will enhance readability and coherence.
complete response
Your essay addresses both sides of the argument effectively, showing a balanced understanding of the topic.
relevant specific examples
You have provided relevant and specific examples to support your points, making your arguments more compelling.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion effectively summarizes your viewpoint and ties together the main points discussed in the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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