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Some people believes that it is wrong to keep animals in zoo while other thinks that zoos are important for education and conservation .Discuss both the views and give your opinion

#people #animals #zoo #zoos #education #conservation
There are different views about keeping animal species in zoos.
While
 there are many reasons that are beneficial to these creatures, I believe that they have the right to be free in their natural habitats. On one hand, some individuals have claimed that it would be selfish to keep wild
animals
 in cages.
Additionally
, they believe that
animals
 have the right to live in jungles, which are their main territory.
Furthermore
, in my opinion, it can be seen that wild creatures tend to lose their savage behaviour and they become accustomed to eating their meals, which are made by humans.
For example
,
according to
 a report, which is published by the Guardian magazine, tigers that were residing in the London zoo deal with long-term depression
due to
 losing their capabilities and I believe that
this
 cruel behaviour from mankind can lead to a worse situation.
On the other hand
, there are people who trust in the zoo's policies and they say it should be continued.
To begin
 with, there are numerous reasons which I am going to mention.
Firstly
, it can be crucial for educational purposes and
this
 maintenance of
animals
 can lead scientists to a prolific result, which may broaden our latest assumptions about how they live and how they communicate with each other.
Secondly
, collecting them in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
cages should benefit governments and local states, which can be the most influential reason why zoo owners are fond of keeping these poor
animals
 in touch with the public.
For example
, children are the major fans of
this
 circumstance and they love to see them at a close distance.
Finally
, experts claim that keeping
animals
 in zoos could increase their population and with our modern conservation techniques, we can try to delay their extinction process.
To sum up
,
while
 there are various opinions about preserving wild
animals
 in cages, in my perspective, it is much more generous to leave them alone in order not to misuse these brilliant creatures.
Submitted by pooya.olad on

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task achievement
Your essay addresses both views and provides a clear opinion, which is great. However, consider elaborating more on each view to give a more comprehensive analysis and ensure that your argument is fully developed.
coherence cohesion
The logical flow of your essay could be improved. Try to include more transition words and phrases to guide the reader through your arguments and improve the coherence of your essay.
introduction conclusion
You provided a strong introduction and conclusion, effectively setting the stage and summarizing your main points.
task achievement
You included relevant and specific examples to support your arguments, which is a strong point in your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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