IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

Some people believe that there are many reasons that can motivate a person to keep working for the same company whereas others say that money is the main reason. Do you agree or disagree

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is considered by some
people
Use synonyms
 that a person can be motivated by many things to keep their job, and others believe that income is the main reason. I personally agree that
money
Use synonyms
 is very essential to keep someone in their job.
However
Linking Words
, the possibility to grow in the working area
also
Linking Words
 plays a significant role as a motivation for someone to keep their position in the
company
Use synonyms
.
Money
Use synonyms
 has become the main component that employees are considered for the
first
Linking Words
 time
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 before they accept the profession. In fact,
people
Use synonyms
 need salaries to fulfil all their needs and provide support for their families. Often time, they do not enjoy their work, but because it offers a good amount of
money
Use synonyms
, they still kept their career and find happiness in other places. The financial broker,
for example
Linking Words
, they were being paid at a high rate every month, but they did not enjoy their monotonous activity.
However
Linking Words
, they kept the position because it offers a high amount of wage. They find happiness by spending their
money
Use synonyms
 on luxurious stuff
instead
Linking Words
.
Although
Linking Words
money
Use synonyms
 can be the main reason for keeping someone in a
company
Use synonyms
, many
people
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 consider another component to keep their career. It is mostly experienced by young
people
Use synonyms
 without any spouse or child(s) for them to provide. A freshly graduated worker,
for instance
Linking Words
, consider the possibility to improve their position in work as the main reason to keep them on the job.
Thus
Linking Words
, they believe that they have a chance to grow with the
company
Use synonyms
 which will lead them to success and happiness. In conclusion, salary is an essential item that a
company
Use synonyms
 can offer to their employees.
However
Linking Words
, another opportunity might be more tempting to certain
people
Use synonyms
, especially those who still want to grow themself.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is very important to understand the need of each employee to keep their loyalty to the
company
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Motivation
  • Stability
  • Career progression
  • Advancement opportunities
  • Work environment
  • Work culture
  • Align with values
  • Benefits
  • Perks
  • Job satisfaction
  • Engaging
  • Challenging
  • Fulfilling
  • Colleagues
  • Relationships
  • Company loyalty
  • Ethos
  • Personal investment
What to do next:
Look at other essays: