Some people believe that there are many reasons that can motivate a person to keep working for the same company whereas others say that money is the main reason. Do you agree or disagree

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It is considered by some

people

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that a person can be motivated by many things to keep their job, and others believe that income is the main reason. I personally agree that

money

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is very essential to keep someone in their job.

However

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, the possibility to grow in the working area

also

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plays a significant role as a motivation for someone to keep their position in the

company

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Money

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has become the main component that employees are considered for the

first

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time

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apply

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before they accept the profession. In fact,

people

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need salaries to fulfil all their needs and provide support for their families. Often time, they do not enjoy their work, but because it offers a good amount of

money

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, they still kept their career and find happiness in other places. The financial broker,

for example

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, they were being paid at a high rate every month, but they did not enjoy their monotonous activity.

However

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, they kept the position because it offers a high amount of wage. They find happiness by spending their

money

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on luxurious stuff

instead

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Although

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money

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can be the main reason for keeping someone in a

company

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, many

people

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also

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consider another component to keep their career. It is mostly experienced by young

people

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without any spouse or child(s) for them to provide. A freshly graduated worker,

for instance

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, consider the possibility to improve their position in work as the main reason to keep them on the job.

Thus

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, they believe that they have a chance to grow with the

company

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which will lead them to success and happiness. In conclusion, salary is an essential item that a

company

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can offer to their employees.

However

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, another opportunity might be more tempting to certain

people

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, especially those who still want to grow themself.

Therefore

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, it is very important to understand the need of each employee to keep their loyalty to the

company

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Submitted by Kusuman.retno on Thu Jan 27 2022

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

315 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Motivation
Stability
Career progression
Advancement opportunities
Work environment
Work culture
Align with values
Benefits
Perks
Job satisfaction
Engaging
Challenging
Fulfilling
Colleagues
Relationships
Company loyalty
Ethos
Personal investment

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