It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

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In general, people make decisions based on their varied characteristics and knowledge of the situation. Unlike many who are willing to take the risk, personally speaking, I tend to be more conservative because

life

Use synonyms

and career could be at stake if bad choices are made. Undeniably, most of those who dare to dream and risk it all could make a fortune since higher risk usually equals higher reward. There are numerous cases that can prove

this

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point.

For example

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, Bill Gates, founder of Microsoft, took an unusual and canny turn by dropping out of Harvard to start a business, which would be impugned by most, and achieved unprecedented glory.

Moreover

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, those who grabbed the opportunity when the stock market was in its heyday now live extravagantly. From

this

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vantage point, individuals should be encouraged to treat risks as treasures and fully explore them.

However

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, there are conspicuous drawbacks that can be profound for one’s

life

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. One of the most prominent flaws of risk-taking is the great possibility of failure, which may be utterly damaging and irreparable. It is common for people to oscillate between the state of being super-rich and insolvency overnight during the stock rush in China;

such

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grave pains were so intolerable that thousands of bankrupt people committed suicide. The same can be seen in other aspects of

life

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as well, namely university applications, career choices, and even marriage decisions; many resulted in great repentance

due to

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inadequate and thorough consideration. With that being said, one arbitrary choice of risk-taking in

life

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can have an estimable impact on one’s personal development, and the negative influence might overshadow the bright side.

To sum up

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, even though there are agreeable and attractive advantages to doing things that are associated with higher risks, a person needs to holistically discriminate the effects of both sides before actually doing so.

yanjinru0827Thu May 23 2024

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task achievement

Your introduction provides a clear stance on the topic, but it could be strengthened with a more specific thesis statement indicating the main points that will be discussed.

task achievement

You used relevant and specific examples effectively to support your points. Continue to provide concrete examples but balance them evenly between body paragraphs.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a logical structure with a clear beginning, middle, and end. However, ensure that transition words are used effectively to guide the reader smoothly from one idea to another.

task achievement

The conclusion nicely wraps up the essay by summarizing the main points and reinforcing your stance on the topic.

task achievement

The examples provided, such as Bill Gates and the stock market scenario, are appropriate and well-explained, making your arguments persuasive and engaging.

coherence cohesion

Your essay is well-structured with clear paragraphs dedicated to discussing the pros and cons of risk-taking, which makes it easy to follow and understand.

coherence cohesion

You have an effective way of presenting supported main points, making your arguments logically sound and compelling.

7
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
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Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5

7.5

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.5

7.5

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

307 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Opportunities
Growth
Innovation
Challenges
Self-discovery
Resilience
Uncertainty
Consequences
Calculated risks
Stagnation
Regret
Comfort zone
Entrepreneurship
Adventurous spirit
Thriving
Failure
Mitigate
Reap the rewards

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It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices.

University students must pay all tuition fees, because it benefits mostly them individually, rather than the society as a whole. Do you agree or disagree?

Multinational companies are becoming increasingly common in developing countries. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

Some people say that now we can see films on our phones or tablets, and there is no need to go to the cinema. Others say that to be fully enjoyed, films need to be seen in a cinema. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.