Shopping is now one of the most popular forms of leisure activity in many countries for young adults. What do you think of the reason for this? Is this positive or negative development?

#forms #leisure #activity #countries #adults #reason #development

Over the

last

two or three decades, mankind's shopping habit has been rising tremendously than ever before due to advertisements.

However

, shopping is an inevitable aspect of human lives at present generation and numerous nations consider

this

is one of the most

renowed

Correct your spelling

renowned

way

Change to a plural noun

ways

show examples

of free time activity, especially in youths. I think that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

advertisement is the vital reason for

this

and

this

is a negative improvement.

This

essay discusses it briefly for the following reasons. To commence with, an advertisement is the vital cause for the

adults

feel that shopping is the best leisure activity because ad gives

enormous

Add an article

an enormous

show examples

amount of product awareness to the youths,

therefore

, they tend to go shopping for hobbies.

For example

Change preposition

apply

show examples

India has plenty of shopping centre, not only sells goods but

also

conducts some play activities,

therefore

, numerous amount of Indian

adults

like to go for

shooping

Correct your spelling

shopping

in their free time with their friends and families.

In addition

, young

adults

want

Remove the article

apply

show examples

fun in every situation,

similarly

, shopping malls provide all the entertainment amenities for mankind who

being

Wrong verb form

are

show examples

youth.

Therefore

, innumerable

adults

have a hobby as shopping in numerous nations.

Although

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

this

is not a positive improvement, youth can be addicted to shopping

Change preposition

apply

show examples

nowadays,

therefore

, they buy unwanted things even they never use a plethora of goods.

For instance

, a recent report by London Times said that more than 80%

money

Change preposition

of money

show examples

spends

for

Change preposition

show examples

shopping who being

adult

Fix the agreement mistake

adults

show examples

across the globe.

In addition

, they spend a multitude of money

for

Change preposition

show examples

shopping rather than any usual activities,

therefore

this

is one kind of psychological problem of belongingness,

as a result

, they might be lost their capital.

Hence

this

is a negative improvement. To conclude, shopping provides numerous happiness to the humankind who are addicted. Advertisement is the main reason for youth considers their hobbies

Replace the word

show examples

shopping, but

this

can addict to

adults

and lost their capital too.

Therefore

, I think

this

is a negative development and I hope

this

trend should be changed among the youths.

Submitted by reanudeepan on Tue Feb 01 2022

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

333 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Shopping is now one of the most popular forms of leisure activity in many countries for young adults. What do you think of the reason for this? Is this positive or negative development?

Some young people look forward to a year of travelling, a 'gap year'; before they begin work or university and see it as a chance to broaden their horizons. For others this is an expensive waste of time. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Governments should not financially support artists (like painters, writers, musicians, etc.) because arts do not improve people's lives. Instead, they should let artists support themselves. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Once children start school,teachers have more influence on their intellectual and social development. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

5.Employers should give their staff at least a 4-week holiday a year. It can make them perform better in their work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays many students have the opportunity to study for part or all of their courses in foreign countries. While studying abroad brings many benefits to individual students, it also has a number of disadvantages. Do you agree or disagree? Write at least 250 words.