IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

It has been suggested that cars and public transport should be banned from city centres and only bicycles be allowed instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Nowadays, the constant use of vehicles, mostly on the central side of the towns, leads to big environmental problems. Some
people
Use synonyms
 argue that the best solution to
this
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 problem would be the complete removal of
cars
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 and public
transport
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 from the roads making way for bicycles. I strongly disagree with
this
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 statement, and
this
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 essay will show why a sudden shift to a bicycle-only system would bring more drawbacks than
cars
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 and public
transport
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.
People
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 have always been preferring bicycles over
cars
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. They are justifiably worried about the potential threat of
cars
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 to the environment and the health of the residents. Indeed,
due to
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 the amount of carbon that
cars
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 emit into the atmosphere, central regions in most of the town have bad air quality, which leads to headaches and respiratory issues for
people
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 who live there.
Also
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, one of the main reasons for choosing bicycling is that it has many health benefits. Regular and consistent bicycling can positively impact various aspects of physical well-being. Riding a bicycle engages various muscle groups, including the legs, thighs, and buttocks.
Therefore
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, it contributes to the development of muscular strength and endurance, enhancing
overall
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 fitness. Despite the minor risks associated with environmental pollution, removing all the
cars
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 and public
transport
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 off the roads can bring even more problems.
Firstly
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, it would affect the accessibility and mobility needs of the
people
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. Not everyone can use a bicycle
due to
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 physical limitations, age, or health conditions.
Therefore
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, banning
cars
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 and public
transport
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 could limit the mobility of certain segments of the population,
such
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 as the elderly, disabled individuals, or those with young children.
Moreover
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, these acts can have a significant economic impact. These days, most businesses and countries rely on the transportation of a large number of goods and services, which are usually done by delivery trucks, or other essential vehicles.
Thus
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, a complete ban on vehicles would make the transit slow, which would lead to delays, increased costs, and disruptions in the availability of products affecting the county's economic status. In conclusion, taking into consideration all the arguments presented, I strongly believe that
people
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 who believe that changing to a bicycle-only system is the best way to solve environmental problems are underestimating the potential economic and accessibility consequences of
this
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 problem.

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Task Achievement
Ensure you fully address all parts of the task. It seems that the essay partially agrees with the statement but concludes on a strong disagreement without exploring a balanced argument.
Task Achievement
Consider providing more specific examples to support your points. Real-world statistics, studies or observations could strengthen your argument.
Coherence & Cohesion
Vary your sentence structures and use cohesive devices effectively. Transitional words or phrases were missing at times, leading to a series of statements rather than a smoothly flowing argument.
Coherence & Cohesion
Organize your ideas clearly into paragraphs, each with a clear main idea. Use the introduction to lay out the structure of your essay and the conclusion to summarize the main points effectively.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • congestion
  • air pollution
  • sustainable
  • environmentally friendly
  • traffic
  • improve
  • viable
  • population
  • investment
  • infrastructure
  • policy
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