IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Many people say that we now live in 'consumer societies' where money and possessions are given too much importance. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #consumer #societies #money #possessions #importance
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Over the
last
Linking Words
 two or three decades, mankind's needs have been rising tremendously than ever before, especially in
money
Use synonyms
 and possessions.
However
Linking Words
, some think that nowadays's humankind gives enormous
importance
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
money
Use synonyms
 and possessions due to the consumer societies. I strongly agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement and
this
Linking Words
esssay
Correct your spelling
essay
 discusses it briefly for the following reasons. To commence with, today's mankind likes to earn
money
Use synonyms
 and owns
things
Use synonyms
 tremendously because they are living in
a consumer societies
Correct the article-noun agreement
a consumer society
consumer societies
show examples
.
Money
Use synonyms
 can determine every aspect
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 humans
lives
Use synonyms
,
therefore
Linking Words
, people should be given enormous amounts of
importance
Use synonyms
 for earning
capitals
Fix the agreement mistake
capital
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
, Indians always run to earn
money
Use synonyms
 for satisfying their needs and wants because
money
Use synonyms
 plays a crucial role
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their
lives
Use synonyms
, especially in
Correct your spelling
underdeveloped
show examples
under developed
Correct your spelling
underdeveloped
show examples
 nations.
Therefore
Linking Words
, numerous amount of people
give
Change the verb form
gives
show examples
 most
importance
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 earning
capitals
Fix the agreement mistake
capital
show examples
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, nowadays's mankind is addicted
by
Change preposition
to
show examples
 possessions because they like to buy any
things
Use synonyms
 whether useful or unuseful products due to like. To be more elaborate,
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 advertisement can stimulate to buy
things
Use synonyms
 who humankind and they create a magic world like
house
Add an article
a house
show examples
 full of
things
Use synonyms
,
as a result
Linking Words
, the population is addicted to
buy
Change the verb form
buying
show examples
things
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, a recent report by the Times of India said that more than 80% of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
today's
puplic
Correct your spelling
public
 is being addicted to
buy
Change the verb form
buying
show examples
things
Use synonyms
 unwantedly due to consumer societies.
Hence
Linking Words
,
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
 gives a plethora of
importance
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 owning
things
Use synonyms
. To conclude,
money
Use synonyms
 and owning
things
Use synonyms
 is the most crucial aspects
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 human's
lives
Use synonyms
,
therefore
Linking Words
, they like to do
this
Linking Words
 due to addiction and advertisement.
Money
Use synonyms
 plays a main role
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 nowadays's humans
lives
Use synonyms
,
therefore
Linking Words
, I strongly agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement in the above-mentioned details and I hope
this
Linking Words
 process is conducive to building a healthier society.
Submitted by reanudeepan on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: