IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

It can be difficult for small local shops to compete with large supermarkets and with on-line shops. How does this affect local communities? What could be done to improve this situation?

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Summary Nowadays there is more choice for the consumer than ever before. Large supermarket chains sell products from around the world at
rock bottom
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rock-bottom
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 prices. We are
also
Linking Words
 able to buy anything we desire from the internet and, often, have it delivered the next day.
However
Linking Words
,
this
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 comes at the detriment of small local
shops
Use synonyms
, and our local communities. I would suggest that we need to take measures to address
this
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 problem. Large chain
store
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stores
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 are able to purchase and trade a very large volume of goods and,
as a
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result
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result,
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 they can sell goods with a very small profit margin.
Likewise
Linking Words
, online retailers have comparatively low overheads as they do not have to maintain a shop.
This
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 saving is
then
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 passed on to the customer in the form of low prices. In comparison, smaller local
shops
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 have to sell products at a relatively high price in order to make a profit. Unable to compete, they often face closure. The problem with
this
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 is that the community loses
it’s
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its
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 sense of identity. It is often these small
shops
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 that differentiate one town from another. With the loss of these
shops
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, high streets and town centres become homogenised with the same
Use synonyms
shops
Fix the agreement mistake
shop
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 fronts and products. It has
also
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 been found that local
shops
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 generate more employment than larger, chain stores. What we need to do is to encourage people to shop locally.
This
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 could be in the form of publicity campaigns, highlighting the benefits of supporting local
businesses
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. The government could
also
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 play a role by offering tax breaks and incentives to local
businesses
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 so that they are better able to compete with larger companies.
To conclude
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, we can see a number of, mostly financial, reasons why smaller
shops
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 are unable to compete and that the loss of these
businesses
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 would have a negative impact on the community. Individuals and government both need to play a role in supporting local
businesses
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 so that we can preserve the diversity of our towns and cities.

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relevant specific examples
Incorporate specific examples or case studies of local communities affected by competition with large supermarkets and online shops.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence to maintain focus and cohesion.
complete response
The essay effectively addresses both parts of the question, providing a thorough examination of the issue and offering possible solutions.
introduction conclusion present
There is a clear introduction and conclusion, framing the essay well and reinforcing the main points.
logical structure
Each main point is supported by logical reasoning, maintaining a cohesive argument throughout the essay.
clear comprehensive ideas
The clarity of ideas is commendable, with points articulated in a straightforward and understandable manner.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • economies of scale
  • local employment opportunities
  • cultural diversity
  • community engagement
  • property prices
  • homogenization of the retail environment
  • social gathering points
  • unique and specialized products
  • local heritage preservation
  • online retailers
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