IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult,such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places?

#tourists #places #conditions #sahara #desert #antarctic #visit
Nowadays,
although
deserts
 are mostly visited by tourists where the environment is very tough and dry. There are both pros and cons to
this
. In
this
 essay, I will mention some benefits and drawbacks of visiting these areas along with examples. There are some positive points of going to
deserts
 for tourists.
Firstly
, it is very adventurous because many individuals like to discover many new and spacious things. Nowadays, technology is at its peak and
people
 are engaged so much in it ,for
this
 is a very easy way to earn money
therefore
Add the comma(s)
,therefore
show examples
,many
people
 want to collect many different and unique information to post it on social media apps ,
such
 as Instagram, youtube etc ,and to get more views and likes.
For example
, many you tubers like Zaid Ali and Aqsa have their own channels in which they record their visits to different places to which,
however
, many
people
 cannot go owing to, many reasons but they wish to see those areas. With the help of those
youtubers
Correct your spelling
YouTubers
, many
people
 are able to watch and enjoy the places where they cannot go.
Moreover
, some
people
 like to enjoy the activities which are only done
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
deserts
,
for instance
, quad biking and dune bashing.
In contrast
, there are some disadvantages of visiting
deserts
.
Firstly
,
people
 who visit
deserts
 sometimes face many problems related to food and drinks.
For example
, many
people
 had sunstrokes and get unconscious owing to, severe sweating and lack of water intake. After having discussed the pertinent points it can be inferred that
although
,there are both positive and negatives aspects of visiting
deserts
.
Hence
, tourists who visit
deserts
 for adventures or any research must pay heed to
taking
Change the verb form
take
show examples
 excess amount of water and food with themselves
consequently
, their tour will be easy and successful for them.
Submitted by drsanaghani on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • breathtaking landscapes
  • unique ecosystems
  • sense of adventure
  • personal growth
  • indigenous cultures
  • environmental conservation
  • climate change
  • environmental degradation
  • economically disadvantaged areas
  • physical health
  • harsh weather
  • difficult terrain
  • limited access to medical facilities
  • fragile ecosystems
  • habitat destruction
  • basic amenities
What to do next:
Look at other essays: