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Writing Samples
Band 2.5

It is inevitable that as technology advances, traditional cultures will be lost. It seems that we cannothave these two things together. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#technology #advances #cultures #cannothave #two
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Technology is an inseparable part of modern society.There is no doubt that as
the
Correct article usage
apply
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time passes, obsolete and ancient theories,tools, views are likely to be replaced by new, contemporary ones according to existence flow.we are supposed to keep
balance
Add an article
a balance
the balance
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 between cultural and technological advances. As for
me
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,me
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 It is an old cliche that technological developments lead to cultural loss.They are merely tools we take advantage of in order to simplify,enrich our hectic and overpressured lifestyle.
On the other hand
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, traditions and rituals that were preserved by our ancestors may not match with current standards,preferences.It would be appropriate to seek for
golden
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a golden
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 mean between two contradictory thoughts.
In addition
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,I was always admired by
Japanese
Correct article usage
the Japanese
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 cultural spirit.They were the
first
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 nation
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
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 could combine both technological and cultural
tradition
Fix the agreement mistake
traditions
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.Japan is
very
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a very
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 developed, industrially and economically stable country.
However
Linking Words
,They strictly obey and preserve national and cultural traditions that have been existing over generations.
Hence
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,
Oneshould
Correct your spelling
One should
 not blame technology or other factors for
extinct
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the extinct
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 of
long lasting
Add a hyphen
long-lasting
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 traditional treasure.
Moreover
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,it
depends
Add the preposition
ondepends
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onthe
Correct your spelling
on the
on
 place,time and space whether technology is
threat
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a threat
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 to
loss
Correct article usage
the loss
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 of tradition. In conclusion, Technological advances and innovation are of great importance if utilised in a proper way. we should not use excuses
such
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 as new gadgets and tools are harmful
for
Change the preposition
to
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 the young.The most significant task is to be able to keep
balance
Add an article
a balance
the balance
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 between old and new periods.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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