IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Social media enable people to keep in touch with each other and learn about news events. Do advantages outweigh disadvantages?

#media #people #touch #news #events
Human beings spend approximately 4 or 5 hours daily surfing various social
media
. So it broadens the opportunities
such
 as contacting
among
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
 around the world and spreading recent news happening every
second
.
However
, the demerits can be found in social
media
, which could overshadow the merits.
Firstly
, the main option of social
media
 is
link
Fix the infinitive
to link
show examples
people
 over long distances. So while networking
people
 are able to talk with each other and could be informed about the events happening in their life.
For example
, the crowd who living in Europe could contact the
people
 living in Asia just by typing or skyping.
Secondly
, social
media
 gives
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
the
Correct your spelling
them
show examples
 access to enormous news sources.
As a result
, a society with the help of social
media
 learns any kind of news in seconds. On the other side, using social
media
 in
adversely
Correct article usage
an adversely
show examples
harming
Replace the word
harmful
show examples
 way is quite probable. One of the cons could be the fact that the youngsters are exposed to psychological violence every day. Many proofs can be found that via social
media
 the terrorist organizations propagandize their own ideology in order to attract more supporters and attention.
Moreover
, spending most of
time
Correct pronoun usage
their time
show examples
 on Instagram or Facebook might lead to stress or mental trauma as at any time
people
 could come across
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
content containing material of an offensive or sexual nature.
Thus
, social
media
 could harm
people
 in many ways. To conclude, even social
media
 have undeniable pros, the possibility to get more negative drawbacks is highly,
consequently
, the cons outweigh the pros. So, the government should take social
media
 under control and ban the owners of any type of negative material.
Submitted by azickww on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: