IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Advanced medical treatments are generally expensive. People’s access to proper health care should not depend up on their level of income. All people have the right to access the best medicine available. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience

#treatments #people’s #access #health #care #level #income #people #right #medicine
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As can be seen, higher-level medical treatments cost a lot of money. The rich can afford them, while the poor cannot.
Therefore
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, some
people
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 try to argue that everyone around the world should deserve the best medication. I strongly agree with
this
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 idea. I will explain my reasons in the following paragraphs.
First
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 of all, if the poor cannot get into proper health
care
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, the number of labours will decrease which results in an economic recession. All
people
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 have a
right
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 to stay alive on earth. It is one of the four factors of living that everyone receives since they are born. According to Santa Clara University, Article 25 of the United Nations Universal Declaration of Human Rights lists medical
care
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 as a basic human
right
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.
In addition
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, Pope Francis has spoken out that health
care
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 is not “a consumer good, but rather a universal
right
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.”
Therefore
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, if a large number of poor
people
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 died or are invalid, they will not be able to go back to work.
This
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 results in a labour shortage and will make the government spend more money on hospitalization rather than developing other parts of the country.
Moreover
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, the poor can spread the pandemic easier due to the lack of medical treatment. According to WHO, the number of infected
people
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 increases due to the
people
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 who cannot access vaccination and treatment. In summary, we can see that it is very important for everyone, including the poor, to have
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
right
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 to access the best medical treatment. The spread of pandemics will decrease, the economy will get better, and the government will not have a burden for improving health
care
Use synonyms
 services. I think the government should not overlook
this
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 problem.
Submitted by chansatid on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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