Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#celebrities #glamour #wealth #achievements #sets #people

Not that long ago, the most famous

people

were venerated for their talents. In ancient times,

people

celebrated mighty warriors and great leaders; in more recent centuries they championed writers, scientists, and artists.

However

, it seems that in the twenty-

first

century the criteria for

fame

has been vastly reduced.

This

essay will demonstrate why

this

is a bad thing for today’s young

people

. In every country, young

people

need role models to admire. Sometimes those role models are family members, friends, or teachers, but often it is

famous

Add an article

a famous

show examples

person. While in the past

this

may have been a person with tremendous achievements under their belt, nowadays it is more likely to be a comparatively talentless celebrity.

People

are famous for all sorts of reasons now, and not all of these

set

Change the verb form

sets

show examples

a positive example for children and young adults. It seems detrimental to worship someone who got famous for little more than taking selfies. Young

people

learn that they don’t need to study or work hard in order to achieve their dreams of success.

Instead

, they learn that the most important thing in life is having lots of followers on social media. Some

people

however

, argue that it is not a bad thing that the barrier to

fame

has been lowered. They seem to think that

this

makes success attainable for more

people

However

, making money is not the most important goal in life. It is more important to do great things and earn respect. Today’s celebrity culture teaches the youth that being a successful person is about little more than fast cars, expensive

jewelry

Change the spelling

jewellery

show examples

, and designer clothes. It teaches them to cut corners in order to achieve

fame

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and to tactlessly boast about it once they have succeeded. To conclude, I agree entirely with the notion that young

people

are negatively impacted by vacuous celebrities whose

fame

is predicated upon very little achievement. Our youngsters need positive role models, and today’s celebrities offer them a bad example of how to live their life.

Submitted by s25698363 on Fri Feb 11 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

334 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

Topic Vocabulary:

glamour
wealth
achievements
portrayed
overshadow
influenced
lifestyles
unrealistic
expectations
values
promoting
hard work
perseverance
inspire
positive impact

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
80.Some people beleive that women should play an equal role as men in a country’s police force or military force, while others think women are not suitable for these kinds of jobs. Discuss both views and give your opinion
Some say that females should have the same role as males in a nation’s police for or military force, while others would argue that women cannot carry out these kinds of jobs. This essay will argue that although women are not as strong as men, both genders should have the same opportunities.
7.5
band
People who cause their own illnesses through unhealthy lifestyles and poor diets should have to pay more for health care. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
The debate surrounding whether individuals who lead unhealthy lifestyles and have poor diets should pay more for healthcare is a contentious one. I strongly believe that these individuals should be responsible for greater financial responsibility for their healthcare.
6.5
band
Some people think that school should choose students according to their academic abilities, while others think it is better to have students of different abilities studying together. Discuss both views and state your own opinion
A group of the population believe that the education system should choose their own pupils by considering their abilities and talents in academic fields, while others consider it is more beneficial to have a variety of students together in the classrooms. I believe it is not appropriate to categorize students and also all the students have to have equal chances of studying.
5
band
it is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and personal lives do you think advantages of taking risks outweight the disadvantages
It is believed that taking risks is crucial when talking about personal life and career. I do agree with this statement, and think that the merits of taking risks outweigh its demerits and this essay will discuss both in detail.
6.5
band
In some countries ,there has been an increase in the number of parents who are choosing to educate their children themselves at home instead of sending them to school. Do the advantages of home education outweigh the disadvantages?
A common trend occurring frequently in the modern day is the proliferation of education which is taught by parents. Although many point out that learning at home might help children to have more practical experience, I would argue that the drawbacks for teenagers as a whole overshadow these perceived benefits.

Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

80.Some people beleive that women should play an equal role as men in a country’s police force or military force, while others think women are not suitable for these kinds of jobs. Discuss both views and give your opinion

People who cause their own illnesses through unhealthy lifestyles and poor diets should have to pay more for health care. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Some people think that school should choose students according to their academic abilities, while others think it is better to have students of different abilities studying together. Discuss both views and state your own opinion

it is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and personal lives do you think advantages of taking risks outweight the disadvantages

In some countries ,there has been an increase in the number of parents who are choosing to educate their children themselves at home instead of sending them to school. Do the advantages of home education outweigh the disadvantages?