Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#celebrities #glamour #wealth #achievements #sets #people

Not that long ago, the most famous

people

were venerated for their talents. In ancient times,

people

celebrated mighty warriors and great leaders; in more recent centuries they championed writers, scientists, and artists.

However

, it seems that in the twenty-

first

century the criteria for

fame

has been vastly reduced.

This

essay will demonstrate why

this

is a bad thing for today’s young

people

. In every country, young

people

need role models to admire. Sometimes those role models are family members, friends, or teachers, but often it is

famous

Add an article

a famous

show examples

person. While in the past

this

may have been a person with tremendous achievements under their belt, nowadays it is more likely to be a comparatively talentless celebrity.

People

are famous for all sorts of reasons now, and not all of these

set

Change the verb form

sets

show examples

a positive example for children and young adults. It seems detrimental to worship someone who got famous for little more than taking selfies. Young

people

learn that they don’t need to study or work hard in order to achieve their dreams of success.

Instead

, they learn that the most important thing in life is having lots of followers on social media. Some

people

however

, argue that it is not a bad thing that the barrier to

fame

has been lowered. They seem to think that

this

makes success attainable for more

people

However

, making money is not the most important goal in life. It is more important to do great things and earn respect. Today’s celebrity culture teaches the youth that being a successful person is about little more than fast cars, expensive

jewelry

Change the spelling

jewellery

show examples

, and designer clothes. It teaches them to cut corners in order to achieve

fame

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and to tactlessly boast about it once they have succeeded. To conclude, I agree entirely with the notion that young

people

are negatively impacted by vacuous celebrities whose

fame

is predicated upon very little achievement. Our youngsters need positive role models, and today’s celebrities offer them a bad example of how to live their life.

Submitted by s25698363 on Fri Feb 11 2022

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

334 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

glamour
wealth
achievements
portrayed
overshadow
influenced
lifestyles
unrealistic
expectations
values
promoting
hard work
perseverance
inspire
positive impact

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Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In the past, most people used to travel to their place of work. With increased use of computers, the internet and smart phones, more and more people are starting to work from home. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development?

Many students choose to take a gap year before starting university, to travel or gain work experience. Do you think this is a good idea ora waste of time?

In their advertising businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negeztive development?

The government needs to spend money to encourage the development of sports and arts for school students, rather than to support professional sports and art events. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statem