Some people think that the government should be responsible for improving public health Others, however, believe that everyone in the community should take part in this issue. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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There is no argument that public
health
is one of the greatest things
in
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apply
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which every country
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is concerns
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concerns
Wrong verb form
concerned
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.
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about.
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Some
people
believe that improving public
health
ought to be the responsibility of the government. While others think that it should be the role of each individual. In my opinion, I think both government and individual have an impact on
this
issue. On the one hand, it is thought that the governments play an important role to improve public
health
in
general
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the general
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population.
In other words
, they should take
this
issue
to
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as
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the priority in order to keep their citizen improving their
health
. To illustrate, they should provide
clean
Correct article usage
a clean
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environment,
health
care policy and services for protecting, maintaining, and improving the
health
of the citizens.
Moreover
, the authorities should increase the number of sports facilities
such
as indoor or outdoor gyms, park so that
people
can do exercise more often. Doing so can keep their citizen healthy.
On the other hand
, many argue that without the cooperation of the individual, public
health
cannot
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can
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not be improved. Individuals should take responsibility to improve their own
health
by changing their
behaviors
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behaviours
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to
healthy
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a healthy
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lifestyle
such
as eating healthy food, having
balanced
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a balanced
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diet and taking sufficient rest.
In addition
, they should do exercise regularly in order to keep
them
Correct pronoun usage
themselves
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fit. They must consult
doctor
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a doctor
the doctor
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and have
annual
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an annual
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medical
check
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check-up
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up
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apply
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to see if they are healthy or if they have any
health
conditions.
This
lead to
protect
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protecting
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and
maintain
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maintaining
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themselves in a good
health
. In conclusion, despite
people
having different views, I think it would be better for
people
to keep themselves healthy
by
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with
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the cooperation of the government and the individual. While governments take serious action on improving it, individuals should take
a
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apply
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better care of themselves.
This
can keep the communities healthy in a long run.
Submitted by panaratsri on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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