Some people think that the government should be responsible for improving public health Others, however, believe that everyone in the community should take part in this issue. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
There is no argument that public
health
is one of the greatest things in
which every country Change preposition
apply
Add a missing verb
is concerns
concerns
Wrong verb form
concerned
.
Some Change preposition
about.
people
believe that improving public health
ought to be the responsibility of the government. While others think that it should be the role of each individual. In my opinion, I think both government and individual have an impact on this
issue.
On the one hand, it is thought that the governments play an important role to improve public health
in general
population. Add an article
the general
In other words
, they should take this
issue to
the priority in order to keep their citizen improving their Change preposition
as
health
. To illustrate, they should provide clean
environment, Correct article usage
a clean
health
care policy and services for protecting, maintaining, and improving the health
of the citizens. Moreover
, the authorities should increase the number of sports facilities such
as indoor or outdoor gyms, park so that people
can do exercise more often. Doing so can keep their citizen healthy.
On the other hand
, many argue that without the cooperation of the individual, public health
cannot
not be improved. Individuals should take responsibility to improve their own Rewrite the sentence
can
health
by changing their behaviors
to Change the spelling
behaviours
healthy
lifestyle Add an article
a healthy
such
as eating healthy food, having balanced
diet and taking sufficient rest. Correct article usage
a balanced
In addition
, they should do exercise regularly in order to keep them
fit. They must consult Correct pronoun usage
themselves
doctor
and have Add an article
a doctor
the doctor
annual
medical Add an article
an annual
check
Add a hyphen
check-up
up
to see if they are healthy or if they have any Change preposition
apply
health
conditions. This
lead to protect
and Wrong verb form
protecting
maintain
themselves in a good Wrong verb form
maintaining
health
.
In conclusion, despite people
having different views, I think it would be better for people
to keep themselves healthy by
the cooperation of the government and the individual. While governments take serious action on improving it, individuals should take Change preposition
with
a
better care of themselves. Remove the article
apply
This
can keep the communities healthy in a long run.Submitted by panaratsri on
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite