Government should reduce their investment in arts, music and painting. Agree or disagree.

Most of the countries in the world are highly developed because of their ability to put capital in the most effective areas.

However

Linking Words

, investing the budget in

arts

Use synonyms

music

Use synonyms

and painting is not so important and I totally agree with the aforementioned statement.

Firstly

Linking Words

Arts

Use synonyms

music

Use synonyms

and painting are more likely to know as individual skills and passion which does not play a key role in the development of the Nation. It is clear that most of the developed countries invest huge amounts of their capital to build the infrastructure of development like education, health and transportation.

For example

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, the US

government

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has brought scholarship programmes for those students who are brilliant in their studies and ensure that they can pursue their higher studies without any financial problems. Hereby, the

government

Use synonyms

should always keep the necessity of citizens as a top priority.

Secondly

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, people often do all these extra

activities

Use synonyms

arts

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music

Use synonyms

and painting at an early age while they are in schooling. The educational institute has always been the place where pupils got the liberty to pursue these kinds of skills-based

activities

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as extra curriculum

activities

Use synonyms

For example

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, Nowadays, most of the schools in different countries held

arts

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music

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and painting competitions occasionally. It is

also

Linking Words

proven that these kinds of extra curriculum

activities

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help students to refresh their minds and keep them out from educational burden sometimes which is very effective for their learning process.

Additionally

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, some highly talented students can get a chance to express their skills via these competitions. Unfortunately, these numbers are countable, and

government

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cannot work on behalf of them. To sum up, As a guardian of a whole country

government

Use synonyms

should always invest in those areas and sectors from which a huge mass of people can be benefitted.

anilbasnet3333

Feb 14, 2022

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

296 words

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