Modern lifestyles mean that many parents have little time for their children. Many children suffer because they do not get as much attention from their parents as children did in the past. Do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays people are living in the modern society which countless
activities
that they do in their daily life. Meanwhile, family
activities
sometimes do not get much
priority
including nurturing the
children
. In my opinion, the potential dangers of
this
are greater than the benefits we receive with two reasons that family is always come
first
and
children
should have quality
time
with their family. It is certainly true that contemporary culture has been changing compared to ancient lifestyles. The demand and busy
activities
make a family the top
priority
. It leads to the
children
that they do not get enough consideration in their life. The research shows that youngsters need several pieces of advice and attention to develop their capability and maturity. Meanwhile, for parents’ events, they have the busiest activity they ought to give high
priority
to their kids and provide attention as a part of learning development both physical and mental health.
On the other hand
, there is a strong argument that people with full of
activities
also
need leisure
time
. It is a good reason to spend a holiday with their family.
As a result
, they have a chance to talk, communicate and build up the relationship between family members as a part of quality
time
.
For example
, they can spend the summer holidays and enjoy the beautiful moments between parents and
children
. In the long term, as a child, they feel getting attention from their parents and avoid the lack of family care. For the reasons mentioned above, I believe that family is the highest
priority
and spending more
time
with family is a beneficial and valuable lifestyle.
Submitted by dian.t.wiyanti on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: