IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

In some places old age is valued. While other cultures youth is considered more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#places #age #cultures #youth
Many people think that old
age
 is important.
However
, others believe that the young generation is more vital.
This
 essay shows showing youth
age
 plays a crucial role in development and innovation. One of the most important things that makes old
age
 better than young
age
 is experience.
According to
 their ages , they have been working for a long term and challenging lots of difficult things in their life.
Therefore
, they know how things work, how to fix them and
also
 how to deal with them.
For instance
, most of the powerful characters in the
world
 are of old
age
such
 as the Resident of the United States, Joe Biden or the Queen of the United Kingdom Elizabeth. Turning to the other factors that teenager is the future of the
world
, the young generation can not be better than old
age
 in experience but the most important thing they have is their time. Youth have more time to learn and gain more levels.
In addition
, young people are an important factor in the
world
's development and innovation. Many young talents and prodigies were discovered with many excellent achievements. From my point of view , teenagers play a crucial role in society because they not only
stopping
Wrong verb form
stop
show examples
 in one place , they have more time to study not only development but
also
 they can do better than previous generations. In conclusion,
according to
 the
world
 the old and young generations are still developing the
world
 together
as well as
 helping each other to make both more and more progressive.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
To improve Task Achievement, ensure your essay comprehensively addresses all aspects of the prompt. Develop both views before stating your opinion to provide a balanced discussion.
Task Achievement
Enhance your essay by explicitly stating your opinion in the introduction and conclusion, providing a clear stance throughout the essay.
Task Achievement
Increase the use of specific examples and evidence to support your arguments. This will make your ideas more persuasive and tangible.
Coherence & Cohesion
To enhance Coherence and Cohesion, work on creating a logical flow of ideas. This can be achieved through better paragraph structuring and using transitional phrases to connect ideas smoothly.
Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea. Use topic sentences to introduce the point of each paragraph and summarize its content.
Coherence & Cohesion
Improving your essay structure by ensuring a clear introduction, body paragraphs with distinct ideas, and a concise conclusion will also strengthen your coherence and cohesion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • repositories of knowledge
  • esteemed
  • insights
  • embedded
  • seeking advice
  • prioritizing
  • premium on innovation
  • dynamism
  • adaptability
  • technological advancements
  • entrepreneurs
  • pioneers
  • indispensable
  • stability
  • harmonious
  • progressive
What to do next:
Look at other essays: