IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people believe that space travel is a waste of government money while others believe it is important for human. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

#people #space #travel #waste #government #money
NASA and the scientists are responsible for researching our universe,
therefore
, they have to afford the amount of funds from the government to research and study
this
 topic. I opine that the government should continue to support
this
 organization. On one hand, individuals won't know what phenomenon will exist in the future,
therefore
, the authorities should not ignore
this
 issue. They have to find an alternative way so that our society won't be extinct in the future.
For instance
, discovering a new planet
that is
 similar to the Earth will serve as an alternative way for society,
thus
, they can fly to
this
 planet to live.
Moreover
,
this
 solution has to spend the amount of budget to reach
this
 objective,
as a result
, they will use all means possible to achieve
this
 target.
On the other hand
, the authorities should divide the budget each year because if they go broke can have a negative impact on the country because the country will be in debt and bankrupt stage,
thus
, they should divide the budget so that it won't affect the country.
For instance
, the United States has gone for broke in
this
 part and is not aware of the debt.
This
 will definitely affect their population. In conclusion, the government and the scientist should strongly cooperate together to discover an alternative way to stand by for their population. If chaos exists,
thus
, they can make a decision about what they will select and make them survive in the future.
Submitted by amittawin on

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task achievement
Task Response could improve by ensuring that both views presented in the question are comprehensively explored with a balanced discussion. The candidate's opinion could also benefit from clearer articulation and more robust support throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
Coherence and Cohesion would be enhanced by better organizing the flow of ideas, ensuring smooth transitions between points, and structuring paragraphs in a more logical manner that clearly supports the arguments made. Use of cohesive devices should also be more varied and sophisticated to aid the essay's flow.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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