IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some believe the primary purpose of museums is to entertain people, while others believe their purpose is to educate. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#believe #purpose #museums #people
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Museums have always been a
place
 where history resides. Its main purpose has always been to a
place
 where people can learn and entertain themselves which can be
also
 called a
place
 of info-entertainment and not a
place
 where people get bored.
Although
, it is sometimes seen by some individuals as a
place
 where they can entertain themselves by looking at old artefacts, like
for example
 I have seen a movie where named Night at the
museum
 where all the artefacts of the
museum
 come to life and enjoy themselves, which I believe was made by keeping in mind that how can a
museum
 be a fun
place
 for children so that they can encourage the children to visit the
museum
 and if I had the opportunity in my childhood where I could have visited the
museum
 where I could have learned as well as had a little fun in the
museum
, it would have been just amazing.
Furthermore
, if museums are only considered as a
place
 where an individual can just learn and educate himself/herself
then
, we are not only creating a
place
 where people get bored but
also
 are creating an environment where under the age children may never visit the
museum
 as they will always believe that it is a
place
 where some collection of old things placed and we will only get boredom. So in conclusion, I believe the
museum
 should not be a
place
 whose motive is to just impart education but it should
also
 be a
place
 where education is endorsed with a pinch of entertainment.
Submitted by takshp120 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: