At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, the population
in particular
Linking Words
countries contain a great number of youth
in contrast
Linking Words
with the number of
older
Add an article
the older
show examples
community. Personally, the advantages
such
Linking Words
as decreasing the rate of extinction and being productive outweigh insignificant disadvantages. I firmly believe that adolescents have a considerable bearing on society by showing their capabilities and their inspiration for the
work
Use synonyms
. They own huge energy which can give power to the
work
Use synonyms
by their systematic effort.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, they have a sense of cooperation and collaboration, which gives
a
Correct pronoun usage
them a
show examples
chance to be more productive
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and assist to preserve the balance between the
work
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, the rate of extinction will be declined significantly if the number of older
people
Use synonyms
will relatively less compare to younger ones.
For example
Linking Words
, older
people
Use synonyms
are dying due to their illness or not being able to look after themselves.
Nonetheless
Linking Words
,
older
Add an article
the older
show examples
population
also
Linking Words
have a crucial role in our society. As the
people
Use synonyms
get older they become wiser as soon as possible they tend to teach younger to study and
work
Use synonyms
. They have experience
therefore
Linking Words
they know how to tackle problems or how to avoid obstacles. We can imagine the older
people
Use synonyms
as a mechanism that contains a great deal of information, they can encourage us to move forward and vice versa.
For instance
Linking Words
, if we quiz them properly to implement the
work
Use synonyms
or a plan they give advice
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
probably is successful. In conclusion, I assume that we ought to give a more chance to younger ones to make a contribution to our society, whereas by not forgetting absolutely about the older ones.
Submitted by Weallneedit9 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • demographic
  • workforce
  • productivity
  • innovation
  • skilled labor
  • social development
  • technology
  • dividend
  • competition
  • resources
  • social welfare
  • unrest
  • instability
  • healthcare
  • elderly care
What to do next:
Look at other essays: