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Band 6

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

#time #population #countries #adults #people #situation
Nowadays, the population
in particular
 countries contain a great number of youth
in contrast
 with the number of
older
Add an article
the older
show examples
 community. Personally, the advantages
such
 as decreasing the rate of extinction and being productive outweigh insignificant disadvantages. I firmly believe that adolescents have a considerable bearing on society by showing their capabilities and their inspiration for the
work
. They own huge energy which can give power to the
work
 by their systematic effort.
Furthermore
, they have a sense of cooperation and collaboration, which gives
a
Correct pronoun usage
them a
show examples
chance to be more productive
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and assist to preserve the balance between the
work
.
In addition
, the rate of extinction will be declined significantly if the number of older
people
 will relatively less compare to younger ones.
For example
, older
people
 are dying due to their illness or not being able to look after themselves.
Nonetheless
,
older
Add an article
the older
show examples
 population
also
 have a crucial role in our society. As the
people
 get older they become wiser as soon as possible they tend to teach younger to study and
work
. They have experience
therefore
 they know how to tackle problems or how to avoid obstacles. We can imagine the older
people
 as a mechanism that contains a great deal of information, they can encourage us to move forward and vice versa.
For instance
, if we quiz them properly to implement the
work
 or a plan they give advice
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 probably is successful. In conclusion, I assume that we ought to give a more chance to younger ones to make a contribution to our society, whereas by not forgetting absolutely about the older ones.
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • demographic
  • workforce
  • productivity
  • innovation
  • skilled labor
  • social development
  • technology
  • dividend
  • competition
  • resources
  • social welfare
  • unrest
  • instability
  • healthcare
  • elderly care
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